Blog Archive

Monday 27 February 2006

SXSW Complete Hip Hop Schedule

So as not to look like a snobby little bitch here is the complete hip hop list for SXSW this year. ALl info is subject to change but shit its going down like this. I may get a few changes in actions LIKE I NEED PLAN B ON MY PSEUDO INTERNATIONAL SHOWCASE NOT COMPETING WITH IT. But whatever we shall see. UK cats please put a word in to 679, they dont listen to me. They don't need to be competing with Sway. Looking like TTC wont be here so I have a prime slot for Plan B. Better than headlining over a bunch of rock cats at Maggie frickin' Maes. HELP!

For more info and ordering a badge type thangs go now to www.sxsw.com

WEDNESDAY MARCH 15 2006

Antone's (213 W 5th St) (All Ages)
12:30 a.m. - k-os - Whitby, ON

Back Room (2015 E Riverside Dr) (All Ages)
HoustonSoReal, Ozone Magazine and Oxy Cottontail Present
1:15 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. – Chamillionaire, Houston, TX
12:30- – 1:00 a.m. - Big Tuck & DSR, Dallas, TX
12:00 – 12:20 – Mr. Pookie & Mr. Lucci, Dallas, TX
11:30 – 11:55 – K-Rino, Houston, TX
11:00 – 11:20 - Mr. Blakes, Garland, TX
10:30 – 10:50 - Young Bleed, Baton Rouge, LA
10:10 – 10:25 - Grit Boys, Houston, TX
9:50 – 10:05 - Kiotti, Houston, TX
9:30 – 9:45 - Rob G, Houston, TX
9:00 – 9:20 - Balance, Oakland, CA
8:30 – 8:50 – Steve Austin, Dallas, TX
8:00 – 8:30 - DJ Chill & Rapid Ric
DJ for night DJ Chill & Rapid Ric

Club One 15 (115 San Jacinto St) (21+)
HoustonSoReal Presents
1:30 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. - Barely Broke Family featuring Redd, ATX
1:00 – 1:20 a.m. – Go-Gettas Ent. Feat. Abstraq the Grindologist, Beaumont, TX
12:30 – 12:50 a.m. - GT Block Bleedaz, Beaumont, TX
12:00 – 12:20 a.m. - Deep, Houston, TX
11:30 p.m. – 11:50 p.m. – V-Zilla, Houston, TX
11:00 – 11:20 p.m. - Lower Life Form, Houston, TX
10:30 – 10:50 p.m. PKT, Houston, TX
10:00 – 10:20 p.m. – X-Trct, Houston, TX
9:30 – 9:50 p.m. - Zeale, ATX
9:00 – 9:20 p.m. - Poetic Asylum, ATX
8:30 – 8:50 p.m. - V-Roc, ATX
8:00 – 8:30 p.m. Hydroponic Sound System, Dallas, TX
DJ for night – Hydroponic Sound System, Dallas, TX
Host Brotha K

La Zona Rosa (612 W 4th St) (All Ages)
10:00 p.m. - 10:20 p.m. - Jean Grae, New York, NY
10:25 p.m. - 11:15 p.m. - Talib Kweli, New York, NY

Red Eyed Fly (715 Red River St) (18+)
8:30 p.m. - 9:15 p.m. - Sharkey, Washington, DC
9:30 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. - Apathy, Connecticut
11:00 p.m. - 12:100 a.m. - Jedi Mind Tricks, Philadelphia, PA
12:30 a.m. - 1:30 a.m. - Immortal Technique, New York, NY

Room 710 (710 Red River St) (21+)
10:15 p.m. 10:45 p.m. - Subtitle, Los Angeles, CA

THURSDAY MARCH 16th 2006

Back Room (2015 E Riverside Dr) (All Ages)
HoustonSoReal and Ozone Magazine Presents
1:10 a.m. - 2 a.m. - Devin the Dude, Houston, TX
12:15 a.m. - 1:00 a.m. - Blowfly, Miami, FL
11:45 p.m. - 12:05 a.m. - Chingo Bling, Houston, TX
11:00 p.m. - 11:30 p.m. - Jean Grae, Brooklyn, NY
10:15 - 10:45 p.m. – Josh Martinez & Sleep are the Chicharones, Vancouver, BC, Canada
9:30 - 10 p.m. - Rapid Ric & The Whut it Dew Family – Magno, Mr. Blakes, Chalie Boy, Ryno
9:00 - 9:25 – Money Waters, Dallas, TX
8:30 - 8:45 -
8:00 - 8:30 - DJ Chill
DJ for night DJ Chill

Club One 15 (115 San Jacinto St) (21+)
HoustonSoReal and Oxy Cottontail Presents
12:30 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. - The Rub DJs, NY (Cosmo Baker, DJ Ayres)
11:30 p.m. – 12:30 a.m. - Ross Hogg, SF, CA
10:30 p.m. – 11:30 p.m. - Catchdubs, NY
9:30 – 10:30 p.m. - Oxycottontail, NY
8:45 – 9:30 p.m. - CeePlus, Houston, TX
8:00 – 8:45 p.m. - DJ Stef, San Francisco, CA
Hosted by Serg from Beer and Rap

Flamingo Cantina (515 E 6th St) (18+)
12:00 a.m. - 12:45 a.m. - Awol One, Los Angeles, CA
1:00 a.m. - 2:00 a.m. - 2Mex & Life Rexall are Smartyr, Los Angeles, CA

Town Lake Stage at Auditorium Shores (Auditorium Shores) (All Ages)
Blackalicious, Oakland, CA
Mr. Lif, Boston, MA

Zero Degrees (405 E 7th St) (18+)
1:00 a.m. - 2:00 a.m. - Swollen Members, Vancouver, BC
12:30 a.m. - 1:00 a.m. - Busdriver, Los Angeles, CA
12:00 a.m. - 12:20 a.m. - Big Juss, New York, NY
9:15 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. - The Gray Kid, New York, NY
8:30 - 9:00 p.m. - Vehicular, Austin, TX

FRIDAY MARCH 17, 2006

Back Room (2015 E Riverside Dr) (All Ages)
Houston by way of Austin SoReal Presents
1:30 – 2:00 a.m. - Swift/Nac – Carnival Beats, ATX
1:00 a.m. – 1:20 a.m. - NOOK, ATX
12:30 – 12:50 a.m. - Tee Double, ATX
12:00 – 12:20 a.m. - Basswood Lane, ATX
11:30 – 11:50 p.m. – Casino & Gutta Gang, ATX
11:00 - 11:20 p.m. - Dat Boy Mikee, ATX
10:30 – 10:50 p.m. - Dot Komm, ATX
10:00 – 10:20 p.m. – Dok Holiday, ATX
9:20 – 9:50 p.m. - D-Powers, ATX
8:30 – 9:15 p.m. – Oncore, ATX
8:00 – 8:30 p.m. – DJ Grip
Hosted by Brotha K
DJ for night – DJ Grip

Club One 15 (115 San Jacinto St) (21+)
HoustonSoReal and Oxy Cottontail Presents
1:15 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. - Doujah Raze, Brooklyn, NY
12:30 – 1 a.m. – Headkrack, Dallas, TX
11:45 – 12:15 – Legendary K-O, Houston, TX
11:00 – 11:30 - Pikhasso, Dallas, TX
10:30 – 10:50 - Deaf in the Family, NY
9:50 – 10:20 – Southern Intellect, Houston, TX
9:15 – 9:45 - No Saprise, Houston, TX
8:00 p.m. – 9:15 p.m. - Superstar DJ’s
DJ’s for night – Superstar DJ’s

Emo's Main Room (603 Red River St) (All Ages)
12:30 a.m. - 2:00 a.m. - Atmosphere, Minneapolis, MN
11:30 p.m. - 12:15 a.m. - Brother Ali, Minneapolis, MN
10:45 p.m. - 11:15 p.m. - POS, Minneapolis, MN
10:00 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. - Soul Position, Philadelphia, PA
9:30 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. - Mac Lethal, Kansas City, MO
9:00 p.m. - 9:15 p.m. - Psalm One, Chicago, IL
8:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - Los Nativos, St. Paul, MN
7:30 p.m. - - 8:00 p.m. - Luckyiam/PSC - Los ANgeles, CA
7:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. - DeeJay Bird, Minneapolis, MN

Oslo (301 W 6th St) (21+)
NMS, San Diego, CA
Spankrock, Baltimore, MD
Blockhead, New York, NY
TTC, Paris, France

SATURDAY MARCH 18, 2006

Back Room (2015 E Riverside Dr) (All Ages)
HoustonSoReal, Ozone Magazine and Oxy Cottontail Presents
1:00 – 2:00 a.m. – Screwed Up Click Group Show
12:30 – 12:50 a.m. – ESG
12:00 – 12:20 a.m. – Lil Keke
11:30 – 11:50 a.m. – Hawk
11:00 – 11:20 p.m. – Lil O
10:30 – 10:50 p.m. – Trae
10:00 – 10:20 p.m. – Big Pokey
9:30 - 9:50 p.m. – Point Blank the Bull
9:00 – 9:20 p.m. – KB da Kidnappa
8:30 – 8:50 p.m. – V.I.P., Austin, TX
8:00 - 8:30 p.m. - DJ Big Baby
DJ for Night DJ Big Baby
Hosted by DJ Chill

Caribbean Lights (614 E 6th St) (21+)
HoustonSoReal and Oxy Cottontail Presents
1:15 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. - Sway, London, UK
12:15 a.m. - 1:00 a.m. - TTC, Paris, France
11:30 p.m. – 12:00 a.m. - Moka Only, Vancouver, BC, Canada
10:45 p.m. – 11:15 p.m. – Coco Solid, New Zealand
10:10 p.m. – 10:35 p.m. - Classified, Canada
9:30 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. -
9:05 p.m. – 9:25 p.m. - J.B., Toronto, Canada
8:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. - Cadence Weapon, Edmonton, AB
8:00 p.m. – 8:20 p.m. – DJ Dan Greenpeace, London, UK
DJ for night – Dan Greenpeace, London, UK

Cedar Street Courtyard (208 W 4th St) (21+)
Music World Presents
1:00 AM - 2:00 AM - Mojoe
12:15 AM - 12:45 AM - Dionne Farris
12:05 AM - 12:30 AM - IB3
11:45 PM - 12:00 AM - Aqualeo
11:15 PM - 11:35 PM - Papa Reu
------------------------------------
10:15 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. – The D-Madness Project, Austin, TX
9:15 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. - Thomas Piper, NY
8:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. – Sydnee, Houston, TX
DJ for night- Surprise Special Guest
Hosted by - Solange

Club One 15 (115 San Jacinto St) (21+)
HoustonSOReal, Ozone Magazine and Oxy Cottontail Presents
Indie Hip Hop Night
1:30 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. - Jokaman, Houston, TX
12:45 – 1:15 a.m. - DJ Chill Presents Young Samm, Freeze, Short Texas and Lil Boom, Houston, TX
12:10 a.m. – 12:40 a.m. - Ise Lyfe, Hard Knock Records, Oakland, CA
11:30 p.m. – 12:00 a.m. – Rico Pabon, Hard Knock Records, Richmond, CA
10:45 p.m. – 11:15 p.m. – Ill Tactics, Beaumont, TX
10:00 p.m. – 10:30 p.m. - Studemont Project, Houston, TX
9:00 p.m. – 9:45 p.m. - Speech, Atlanta, GA
8:30 p.m. – 8:50 p.m. – Ghostwriters, Houston, TX
8:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. – Superstar DJ’s
DJ’s and hosts for night – Superstar DJ’s

Flamingo Cantina (515 E 6th St) (18+)
12:30 a.m. - 2:00 a.m. - Visionaries, Los Angeles, CA
11:45 p.m. - 12:15 p.m. - Supernatural, New York, NY
11:00 p.m. - 11:30 p.m. - Kev Brown, Landover, MD
9:30 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. - LD & Ariano, Huntington Beach, CA
8:45 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. - DJ Muggs, Los Angeles, CA
8:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. - Self Scientific, Los Angeles, CA

La Zona Rosa (612 W 4th St) (All Ages)
12:00 a.m. - 1:00 a.m. - Lady Sovereign, London, UK

Maggie Mae's (323 E 6th St) (21+)
1:00 a.m. - Plan B, London, UK

Oslo (301 W 6th St) (21+)
HoustonSoReal and Oxy Cottontail Presents
1:00 a.m. – 2:00 a.m. – Nick Nack and DJ Tats, Austin, TX
12:00 a.m. – 1:00 a.m. - CHOPS, Philadelphia, PA
11 p.m. – 12 a.m. - Robbie Hardkiss, Austin, TX
9:30 p.m. - 10:30 p.m. - Birdy Nam Nam, Paris, France
8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - DJ Logic, New York, NY

SUNDAY MARCH 19th, 2006

Emo's Jr. (603 Red River St) (All Ages)
8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. - DJ Jester, San Antonio, TX

Enough for you?

Friday 24 February 2006

Beautiful eyes

See, I am so nice.

After contemplating for a long time, I decided to share with you all a secret. That's 30% because I am starting to get irritated by girls asking me how to get my eye make up, and 70% because I am just nice in that way.

Speaking of irritating girls, I really dislike girls who ask me this and that on beauty tips, and when I teach them or try it on them, they go all like, Erm, this is too drag queen/artificial/heavy...

WHATEVER. In the first place, don't waste my time to ask me if you are not willing to experiment.

Type 2 girls keep going like, "Wow, your eyelashes are so nice, how do you do it?"

I say they are fake lashes, and usually, girls will reply, "That's great! I wanna do it too, but I don't know how to put it."

What do you mean by you don't know how to put it?! You think I am born with the talent to glue things to my eyelids meh? I also trial and error before I master it what!

Gah... To sum it up: I don't like it when people are unlearning or lazy. Girls, buck up! It is not easy to look your best, and efforts must be put in.

Or don't. That's great, because only with sloppy girls around can girls who make an effort shine, right?

:)

So anyway, because you girls have been asking how I do my eye make up, here it is...

Now don't give me your stupid comments on how you think I did it wrong. I'm not here claiming to be the expert. I'm just answering queries on how I do MY make up. I know my face best so I don't need big mouths teaching me, thank you very much.

If you wanna learn from me, go ahead. If you think it doesn't look good, too bad, I like it. :)

I know I already have a make up entry quite some time ago, but my style of make up have changed quite a bit, so I thought I might do a different one, focusing on eyes. :D

****************************************

Fake lashes.

As time goes by, certain things in fashion change, sometimes caused by certain icons.

Eons ago, small mouths were considered pretty by the Chinese. Zoe Tay changed that.

Flat noses were considered ugly. Fann Wong changed that.

Fake lashes were considered, well, fake, and I suppose the "cheating" element in these synthetic fibres caused girls to feel uncomfortable using them.

What's the difference between mascara-ed like crazy lashes and fake lashes? As long as it is obvious enough it is not natural-born then it's fine, I think. :D

And yes, fake lashes being unsuitable for daily usage. But nowadays, eyelash extensions are so common, and they are so expensive! I don't see how fake lashes are any less unacceptable than eyelash extensions.

I use them (fake lashes) EVERYTIME I go out.

Each lash only costs me $3.90 and they last quite damn long if you take good care of them. I think I saved a hell lot on mascara.

You don't have to curl like crazy, or coat and coat mascara on your poor lashes. The fake lashes are so long, so thick, and immediately add so much depth to your eyes! Shiok!

Here goes!



I found a photo of my original eyes... Quite normal eyes, of course. I think I was laughing madly thus the slanted look. Ha!

But yet, I get compliments from strangers all the time that I have beautiful eyes!

To which I always say, "Oh, they are a lot of effort put in" and smile. Amazing right? Read on.



First step to take will be to put on contact lenses. I prefer coloured ones myself, coz they look more mesmerising, but if you like black you can always use the big-eyed effect ones.

Look how much bigger my eyes look already!

NO, it will NOT be the same if you don't use lens, or use the ordinary transparent ones. Trust me. If you wanna look pretty, might as well go all the way, don't half-fuck around.



Second step draw brows, after putting foundation.



Step 3, put a highlighter colour all over eyelid. Notice how small light-coloured eyeshadow made my eyes look?

That's why I always say, girls who just put one light shade of blue or something over their eyelids are being silly.

Digressing, HAVE YOU SEEN THE STANDARDS OF MAKE UP IN SINGAPORE?

God, it is SO bad.

I mean, most girls just put a bit of pressed powder, slap on an excuse of a light eyeshadow, apply transparent lip gloss, and call it a day, exhausted.

The whole POINT of make up is to make you look prettier, not to bloody add colour to your face. Well ok, that's considered make up too...... for a clown. Unless you are already VERY pretty, there is no point in putting such "light" make up.

Yes, moving on.



Choosing a slightly darker colour, blend into brow bone area.

(As you can see, my normal eyelashes are already quite long and full, but they don't curl much, so I can't be bothered with them, I just use fake lashes)

Yes, I know still looks very ugly... Wait lar!



What a wonderful colour, brown is. Using a dark shade of brown shadow (I recommend you only buy good brands like mac, bobbi brown or anna sui, for the lousy brands like body shop gives no colour whatsoever) and apply like the picture - top and bottom.



Next, crimp lashes! :D If you don't, they will be downturned while your fake lashes are upturned, causing this two pronged look - which is very ugly.



Eyeliner! I use liquid ones myself, and the one in the picture is black. It is important to use liner because the lash line will be black too, and if you don't apply liner your stuck-on lashes will look way obvious.

My fake lashes!


Man, I have SO MANY OF THEM. I think to date I have like 15 pairs, and most of them are from a Korean shop called Dodo club at the basement of Cine. Their lashes are fantastic!

Only $3.90, and it comes in so many styles and a fabulous glue.

I like the criss crossed ones the best! I also have two with silver glitter on the lashes... :D For clubbing!



For our blog entry today I decided to use my shu uemura brown lashes, which are new... As you can see it's not very well trimmed, which kinda explains why the eyes look a bit unbalanced. Grrr



Apply the glue on the back of the lash 'bone' like I did, and carefully stick the lashes to the lash line directly on top of your real lashes.

No, it will not cause your real lashes to drop off if you are careful, and no, if your glue is good it should not drop off during dinner either.

One word of advice though. Try not to stick your lashes too close to the inner parts of your eyes, because it will, for sure, irritate your eyes and make you tear.

If you feel uncomfortable, just peel off the lashes and reapply it again.

The end result:



Now compare that to this:



Pretty good huh? Now apply the rest of your make up and you are all ready to go out. :D




Wanyi: "Wow, you are so good at this make up thing! You should do it full time!"
Me: "Ha! Da cai xiao yong."
Wanyi: "..."


******************************************

Advertorial


Well this post is gonna be all about eyes - and to make them pretty I guess who also need them to not be severely infected. Duh.

I think the idea of ever becoming blind is one of the scariest things that can ever happen to me, and I think most people agree that vision is possibly the most important of the five senses, but yet, eyes, being so fragile, are ironically abused the most.

Never mind if you have ruined your eyes watching TV as a kid; it is now still essential you wash your lens regularly and don't let infections happen!

I was given a sample of AMO's Complete MoisturePLUS a week ago for trying, and I am still surprised.

I have perfect eyesight but I wear coloured lens, and I have always only rinsed my monthlies in saline and nothing else. No washing, no nothing! (Which is why I am surprised: I didn't know there were cleaning stuff to do)

Momo wears lens and she uses this strong soap thing to wash her lens, and I once put the soapy len into my eye and jumped like 3 metres. IT WAS SO PAINFUL CAN?! From then on I decided washing lens was not really worth it.

Bah! I told my friends this, they all started scolding me and saying how dirty contact lens can be, especially when you wear make up, etc. June was even spotting a swollen eye to make her point.

So now I got free cleaning solution to use! It's so easy, the multi-purpose solution cleans, stores, and disinfects! Shiok!

Well, I'm sure contact lens users know about the recent recall on Bausch & Lomb's multipurpose solution.

I suppose it is a timely reminder to get people to clean their lens regularly, and take care of the only pair of eyes you have.

Besides fungal eye infections (which is what happened to the 22 people), apparently, as I have read on the press release, there is also something called cytotoxicity in disinfecting solutions.

I know the "toto" part of the word sounds funny but it is not something to laugh about, ok! These excessive disinfecting properties of solutions often contain a high level of cytotoxicity - and that is very dangerous to the cells of your eyes.

Complete MoisturePLUS comes with the least cytotoxicity as compared to all the other solutions in the market.

Which is cool! And it also has taurine, which helps to ... ok, I don't really know what taurine does but everyone knows it's good. Makes your contact lens more comfortable to wear, I suppose.

It is slightly more expensive than the cheapo brands, at around $20 for a twin pack, but you know, spending a few dollars more a month on a safe product for your eyes... priceless.

Remember to wash your lenses properly ah!

EXTERMINATE THE EVIL THAT IS PARSLEY

As it is I am already a person who gets irritated easily.

Lots of things irritate me: the weather being too hot or too cold, flies, ants, various smells, and ingrown hairs, among many many others.

I don't like to be irritated but I can't help it. I mean, I can put on a false front and pretend I am not irritated, but that irritates me too, so it's kinda pointless.

My friends have to put up with my endless grumbles and I think one of the things they cannot stand is when I complain endlessly about food.

I want to be nice to them and end it once and for all.

I don't know what's wrong with Asians, but we cook great food, and then always decide to grind some grass and sprinkle it generously on top of everything.

We put it on mee sotos, we put it in fishball noodles, we put it on top of steamed fish, we PUT IT FUCKING EVERYWHERE.

IT IS AS IF PARSLEY (OR CORIANDER OR SHIT-GRASS, CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT) IS FREE AND IF YOU DON'T EAT IT IT WILL OVER POPULATE THE WORLD.

I know Western foods have parsley too, but at least it is in one big piece and you can just throw it back at the chef's face. That's kinda mean and unreasonable though, because guess what? THE ANGMOHS KNOW PARSLEYS ARE FOR DECORATION NOT EATING.

I also know I have complained about this before, but seriously, I had ENOUGH.

I cannot count the amount of times I have picked through my noodles' soup to get the fucking parsley out of it, and I cannot UNDERSTAND why they have to put it in.

THEY SIAO IS IT?? A survey I have done with many people showed an amazing statistic: AROUND 50% OF THE POPULATION HATES PARSLEY.

Yet, it is striving! In fact, I bet parsley farmers, those SOBs, are earning like trillions daily from plucking awful grass and poisoning otherwise delicious food. Parsley farmers can fly private jets but they all die of bulimia soon enough; parsley is that smelly.

I HATE PARSLEY. I hate it SO MUCH, I actually vomit when I accidentally bite into one.

AND YET, IT LOOKS LIKE A NORMAL VEGGIE. It constantly ambushes me when I least expect it, pretending to an innocent xiao bai cai or something, and delibrately ruining my social life when I start to regurgitate all my food out like a barf machine.

I have all reasons to hate parsley. If it tastes so awful, the least it could do is to differentiate itself from normal veggies. I think a blue-ish brown colour would be perfect for it.

I also hate the people who refuse to understand how much I dislike parsley. Why is it so difficult to understand that different people have different taste buds?

YOU may say things like, "It's ok what, it doesn't have much taste..." in a nonchalant manner and think that I am making a big fuss...

BUT THAT'S YOUR TASTEBUDS RIGHT?

How about this little analogy... Would you like me to put shit into your food? The smell of parsley makes me barf, so does the smell of shit. I have never tasted shit, but I'm sure parsley is worse.

You may also argue that shit is dirty and parsley is not. WHO CARES?! Same shit, different elements.

Ok fine, no shit-in-food analogy.

HOW ABOUT DURIANS NOW? Would you durian haters like bits of durians ground into the food you ordered? WOULD YOU? Would you like to spend 15 minutes fishing out the durian bits before eating? HUH HUH?

WTF.

FUCK PARSLEYS.

You fucking parsleys ruin my life!

I am acting like a drama queen again? And I can ask food sellers not to put parsley into my food?

Scenario 1) How The Fuck Would I Know What Food Comes With Parsley And What Does Not

That day, during a family gathering, the adults ordered zhu chao, and for the kids who did not eat spicy food they ordered prawn fritters.

To my horror, the otherwise yummy fritter DOUGH WAS HALF GREEN IN COLOUR.

The fucking parsley was grounded and MIXED into the DOUGH!

Prawn fritters? Are these sellers CRAZY??

There was no way we could get the parsley out, and all the kids hated parsley, so the dish was left UNTOUCHED.

I should have taken a handmade catapult and pelted the shitballs of ruined prawns onto the chef until he cowers for help and whimpers, "Never again will I ruin food by putting parsley in it, Wendy, never! Oh, not my balls, anywhere but my balls!!" (Me: "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU")

Scenario 2) The Obstinate Auntie

That day I asked this prawn noodle auntie not to fucking put parsley in my noodles. I told her once, and she feinted ignorance.

I repeated myself AGAIN, because I'd rather be sodomised than PAY for a service and a product I hate. (It's not about it being $3; it's principles)

This time she nodded and said ok.

I hovered around for a bit and decided to let her deliver the noodles to my table. I politely requested again I didn't want the green bits near my food. She nodded again.

When the noodles arrived, it was full of parsley in it.

FUCK THE AUNTIE.

I KNEW IT. I know her type. Everytime pretend to hear, and in the end sell you the same damn default product.

Excuse me if you think that my $3 is too difficult to earn by remembering not to put shit-grass into it, then please let me know, and don't waste the both of our time. I can always look for people who are willing to not put parsley in my food.

I saw the noodles, and seriously, I understand that she can manage to forget my order, because my friends also ordered from her and she was busy. See, I am a nice girl.

However, I did say softly when I saw the noodles, "I thought I said I don't want parsley..." to June, and guess what?

The auntie said loudly,
"HUH? Must put this one then nice to eat, you don't know how to eat prawn noodles!"


OH, SO SHE DELIBRATELY PUT PARSLEY IN IS IT??! Unforgivable!

EXCUSE ME FUCK YOU OK SINCE WHEN IS IT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHAT FOOD IS GOOD TO EAT??!

I got SO angry with her stupid, irrelevant, self-righteous statement that I immediately started to flare up, and if I weren't well-controlled enough to wait till I reach home to rant about her online I would have slapped her greasy face there and then.

If I liked parsley I would not have asked 3 times not to put it in ok!?

Fuck man, these aunties are so fucking stupid!



That's it. There's one simple solution. People who hate parsley cannot eat it, but the crazy people who like it can do without it. In future, all food stores should have parsley in a little side petri dish (or not) which is air-tight, and people who like parsley can take their fill from the dish.

This way, nobody accidentally pukes.


- I hate parsley so much, if I had a choice between getting rid of aids and getting rid of parsley, I chose the STD to stay. -


UPDATE: It is bloody parsley and not spring onions. Stop arguing, I know what spring onions look and smell like. It's just that its wet therefore it's all rolled up, and the little light green stems are parsley stems.

Thursday 23 February 2006

Coulda Shoulda Woulda Been UGK's Reunion ShowCouple Mixtapes for YOU

Well yeah I know, I know, I know, believe me I know. The blogosphere is falling off and leading the way over the cliff into oblivion is HoustonSoReal. Eva stepped on my laptop and broke the screen whilst executing a swan dive off my desk onto my office futon (I think) and well with my travel schedule these days, internetting is not always the easiest thing in the world. There you go. Enjoy that, my weekly excuse.

Tonight I've got a bunch of photos from the most gangsta V.I.P. section I've ever been in. Check the flicks below and you'll see a gang of my favorite rappers all in one place at one time, in celebration of the on stage reunion of Bun B and Pimp C. Well, um, we wish that would have happened. I'll get into that in a second.


Cory Mo


Big Monsta - MDDL FNGZ!


Chase Infinite of Self Scientific


Dolla Bill and Cyr. If you don't know Dolla Bill is working closely with Rapid Ric and produced Ric's first single, "Pullin' Up."


Bandit - MDDL FNGZ




DJ Muggs and Chace Infinite


B=Legit!



As you can see, there were a lot of true underground V.I.P.s in the house. Everything seemed so perfect until about 2 a.m. or so when the second opening act -

- The Product, minus Scarface, hit the stage. Now the Product is dope as hell, but not at 2 a.m. on a Sunday when youare waiting to see UGK. After them, a girl group hit the stage at like 2:20. It was about this point when security or someone roused Bun and led him to the backstage area where Pimp was waiting.

Apparently, someone stole a microphone somewhere in between when the girls got off the stage and UGK were supposed to go on. I don't know man. All I know is that I remember looking at my phone at 2:36 a.m. thinking man, this is just really insane for me to even be here waiting for thse dudes to perform 36 minutes after closing time and nothing has started and here I stand in a... you know man. I was kind of exploding inside thinking about how this was supposed to be such a special occassion.

About this time, a fight broke out just outside the backstage (closet sized) room door and a few minutes later we heard Choppa take the stage. No one was really sure why Choppa was on stage, but from what I hear, the fight that shut the place down happened in front of the stage and people tell me Choppa hit someone from the stage. I don't fuckin' know. Ididn't see it. All I know is I was at Bar frickin' Rio from 11:00 p.m. - 3:00 a.m. and did not see UGK perform.


But whatever I got this thowed picture of B-Legit and Z-Ro!


And yep, C-Bo was in the house seen here with Uncle Pauly


And DJ Domo (along with Good Grief) manned the tables all night.


Z-Ro, Cory Mo


Bandit, Z-Ro


Young Bleed


I bet any money this girl sings




Choppa and crew


Press Corps in the house - JOn Caramanica, Shaheem Reid


Michael Watts


My boy Tim and C-Bo


UTP and Grafh


West Coast Mafia FOOL!

I have a question about this UGK thang. I know that these dudes were both at least in the vicinity of the building at 1 a.m. Why didn't somebody from their camp take charge and get the two of them together backstage and go grab the mics from the promoters and put them on stage. Fuck an opening act. People paid their $75 general admission at the door to see UGK. But, they didn't see UGK. Why? I really want to know. Why were there opening acts at 2 a.m.? On a Sunday? I'm still tired from this shit.


Josh of Chamillitary and Nancy Byron


Dolla Bill and Cyr


Bandit, Skinhead Rob, Sean Wee


E-Rock, 5th Ward Boyz


Shout out to Julia Beverly at Ozone Magazine and the Crunk Juice Massive for the use of the Crunk Juice Tahoe, or as DJ Eva calls it - "The Juice Truck." Seen here with Jon Caramanica.

But what's really crazy about this event, is that all the while all this OTHER shit is going on, up in the top corner of the club, my man Orbit has this "Art Show" going on. Man, I was just standing there minding my own business and MAN Orbit comes up and tells me to come check out the art show he curated for the night. Man, I'm not trippin. The following links are not safe for work. Wait till you get home. And young uns well, click here immediately. Don't look past this first sneak preview.


I'm just saying. At LEAST they were painting girls at this thang thang.

Art Show 1

Art Show 2

Art Show 3

Art Show 4

Art Show 5

Art Show 6

Art Show 7

Art Show 8

Art Show 9

Art Show 10

Art Show 11

And this girl I think talked her way into getting painted in public. I saw a bit of the negotiation go down.

Houston for Dummies has been in constant rotation over here for weeks. I know, I know. I'm a terrible internetter. I should have linked you WEEKS ago.



Link to purchase: http://www.djayres.com/mixtapes/store.htm

Boys went off on this one man. Apologies for taking so long to post about it but you know, nobody reads blogs anymore anyway so what the fuck. Shit though, Houston for Dummies is no joke. The world needs to know these things.

For more information email holler@djayres.com

Houston for Dummies tracklist:
01 Geto Boys – Balls And My Word (1988)
02 Scarface & Devin the Dude – Southside: Houston, Texas (1998)
03 UGK – Front, Back and Side to Side (1995)
04 Big Mike - Playa Playa (1994)
05 Scarface – Money and the Power (1991)
06 Slim Thug & Chamillionaire - Still Tippin (2003)
07 Z-Ro, Paul Wall & Lil Flip - From the South (2005)
08 Lil Keke - Southside (1998)
09 DJ DMD & Fat Pat – 25 Lighters (1998)
10 Paul Wall & Chamillionaire – The Other Day (2002)
11 Wreckshop Family – Power Up (2001)
12 UGK – Murder (1996)
13 Fat Pat - Tops Drop (1998)
14 E.S.G. & Slim Thug - Getchya Hands Up (2001)
15 Lil O – Back Back (2000)
16 Tela & Devin the Dude - Drugs (2000)
17 Raheem - 5th Ward (1992)
18 Odd Squad – Fa Sho (1994)
19 Scarface, Too Short & Devin the Dude - Fuck Faces (1998)
20 Hawk (Screwed Up Click) – U Already Know (2003)
21 Z-Ro, Juvenile & Devin The Dude – The Mule (2005)
22 Slim Thug & Young Jeezy – Diamonds (Mannie Fresh Remix) (2005)
23 UGK - Diamonds and Wood (1996)
24 DJ DMD ft Al B & DJ Screw - So Real (1997)
25 DJ Screw & Lil Keke - Pimp The Pen (2001)
26 Paul Wall & Chamillionaire – N Love Wit My Money (2002)
27 Bun B & Mddl Fngz - 4 In The Morning (2001)

You like JD? Well then check out that buhbOmp - 08 feb 2006 with jd and dj lil tiger
EPISODE 01 --=(| buhbOmp radio |)=-- A wide variety of styles from dancehall and soca, broken beat, Miami and Atlanta bass ... all kinds of rump-shakers, brought to you by the buhbOmp crew: JD, Lil Tiger, Empanadamn, Elz and Cashless.
Their first episode features a raw blend of Miami bass, Atlanta bass, old-school Hip-Hop, soul, funk, broken beat and soca with a little bit of a lot of other shit sprinkled in between. Thrown together with love and affection by JD and DJ Lil Tiger

podcast feed:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/buhbomp


direct link to mix:
http://www.touchandfeel.org/buhbomp/01buhbomp.mp3


And don't miss out on my man CHOPS coming back at 'em.


This CD right here coming soon. But for now go 'head and DL It's Goin' Down 3.



CHOPS & Chamillionaire Present It's Goin' Down 3 - Download it FREE Here

More info at www.nationalchamps2006.com and www.grillsbypaulwall.com

And yo peep this. Ray Tamarra did a lil impromptu photo session with Devin the Dude this past weekend and one of the images made it up on Getty Images Photos fo the Week. Peep It Here.

And so yeah. Bye bye NBA All Star Game. Call me when the Women's Curling Championship comes to Texas. Boys know what I'm talmbout.

For some reason, Damage Control did not upload properly this week. I'll go by KPFT and get it up asap. You need that new Screwed Up Click song.

Wednesday 22 February 2006

Disappearing blog entries

I don't know what happened, but I remember damn well I blogged a blog entry at Kelvin's place before I left for my cruise trip. But the entry DISAPPEARED.

I was at his place blogging coz my computer refused to be turned on, and I was responsible enough (to my blogders) to go all the way to Thomson so that I could tell you guys I'm not gonna be here for four days.

ALAS!

The entry disappeared!!!

I don't know why!!

And now, Momo inserted the formatting disc into my CPU, and it is working well again.

Wtf? (Which is a wtf in a kinda good way)

So anyway, apologies, people, if you have been visiting regularly but keep seeing the same damn entry! I'm so sorry!

Now, I'm kinda still feeling like my room is waving about.-_- There are so many things to be done, so I don't think I'll blog tonight.

I will be though, very soon!

You guys saw that blog entry right??! The one where I said I am going on Superstar Virgo and that I said my computer was down, and I ended off by saying I am blogging in a Scottish accent?

This is so weird.

YOU SAW THAT ENTRY DIDNT YOU? WHY IS IT DELETED??

p/s: Oh, so this is the reason.

Friday 17 February 2006

Boyzinadaze Part Something or OtherDevin the Dude and Rapid Ric Live in CanadaCaps-N-Jones Houston All Star Vacation

Man, you want to talk about Boyzinadaze, shit, All Star Weekend is just starting and I'm already feeling it. The city is just exploding, but man I'm so late on this internetting shit, I had to fall back and get this up. Thanks to everyone in Canada who looked out for us. Shit was SoReal every second of the way. Montreal-Ottawa-Toronto-London, Ontario Recap and Caps-N-JonesSoReal update doth commence forthright.

Thursday February 9th. I woke up at 4:45 a.m., showered and jumped into a taxi to Bush Intercontinental en route to Canada. Cab was late, Devin was there before me. With all paperwork in order the trip into Canada was a breeze. No shakedowns like in Vancouver just a few extra questions and BAM we're out in the streets driving a Jeep Liberty like we live there.



We started the trek in Montreal. If I were more on point I'd have links to all the press Devin got while on this 4 day trek, but um, I don't. Dude was in every daily and major weekly paper in every city along our way. In the London weekly, the Scene I think (shit I can't even find the fucking magazine) they ran an advance piece of Devin the Dude with a photo of DJ Chill. Now, they didn't just somehow google Devin the Dude and find a picture of just any dude they thought was Devin, they ran a photo of DJ Chill. That shit was insane. I assume they got it from Roxy's site as the photo of Chill WAS taken at the New York Devin show, but shit man.


One of the many reasons I love Canada right there. Shit was below zero fahrenheit most of the time we were out there, but I was feeling right.


Shout out to the Kops Crew, Pop Montreal, everybody at the Kop Shop, it's hard to believe this was Devin's second time in Montreal in six months.


Devin pretty much caught shit for smoking in every venue. Seems Canada is yet another place where you're not allowed to smoke in bars.


Rapid Ric ripped every night. Seriously, each night he hit 'em with 20-30 minutes of straight down south shit and then cut for Devin. Boy made an impact.


Thanks to Dan Seligman for sewing this up once again. When we bringing Bun B? Ottawa? T-Dot? What?


Mark Lawson held it down.






Then after the show, Rapid Ric spun at an after party in a loft apartment on St. Laurent. Shit was crazy packed and ran from 3 - 6 a.m. Remind me that I don't need to be up till 6 a.m.


Kops Crew!


Liam Thurston in full effect. He put together the after party.


DJ Hatch Matic killed it alongside Ric all night. I heard everything from "Southside the Realest" to " Sweet Child O' Mine" or some shit. I don't know, by this time I think I had smoked like 5 grams of hash and had been up 24 hours.


After a clean 3 hours of sleep we set out on what was to be a 1.5 hour drive from Montreal to Ottawa. We did so well. I saw a sign that said "Ottawa 20 km." That's like, nothing. We're cruising and all of a sudden I see a cop mobilizing up ahead. Then BAM. Traffic stops. We hung there on the highway for a good 45 minutes trying to find some sort of a report on the radio. There was a fatal accident somewhere just ahead. We ended up turning around and driving the wrong way back on the shoulder to the last exit and somehow made our way around some country road and back to the highway somewhere past the wreck. 3.5 hours.


Come on now.


But man, Ottawa was off the chain. We got in late, but just in time to catch some serious curling action on the TV whilst we smoked enough weed to forget about the 2 hour delay.


Boys killed it. Thanks to Club Babylon and Kapacity Entertainment! And to the store Mags and Fags (I'm not kidding) for selling that Ozone Magazine. Team Canada too. Wow. And um to, well, the Prank Call King. The name says it all. Dude is the king, of Canada at least. The ultra-top-secret prank call king made a rare public appearance to hit Dev off with a CD of like 27 of his greatest works. We jammed it the next day in the Jeep on the 4 hour drive to Toronto and laughed pretty much the whole time. But on this one, we're lucky the Jeep didn't flip.

Download "COMMUNITY SERVICE" by The Prank Call King (Of Ottawa)


Boy killin' it.

I knew Toronto was going to be real from start to finish, so we got up early and hit the road. My man Harris from Peace Magazine was set to leave for Berlin like an hour after we arrived in town so I headed to his crib to participate in his Bon Voyage Fiesta and get my mind right for the impending (once again all night) adventure.


Julia Beverly from Ozone Magazine and Lance Walker from the Houston Chronicle joined us in Toronto. Here's Julia, Ric and my man Jay from REMG in the hallway at Much Music, Canada's 24 hour, off the chain, music network.


Sarah Taylor interviewed Devin for The New Music.


Like I said, JB joined us.


Julia and Ric went up in the CN Tower AND went Ice skating.


Boyinadaze.


Said ice skating rink.


Rodrigo Bascunan of Pound Magazine was in the house at Reverb.


WendyMorganandRoryThemFinestSoReal came thru and kicked it with us and also threw the INSANE after party. Thanks so much y'all. Thanks to Jay Cohen, Ramos Ent., REMG, Reverb, everybody man....


T-Dot R&B Sensation Ayah and Will Strickland. I've known Will since 1991 when I was first starting on KPFT. He hosted to Bass 917 Zone on KTRU and connected me with a lot of promoter folks within the industry. Ayah actually came through and sang with Devin on "Too Cute." She has her own version you need to watch out for.


Devin played the back of the crowd till he hit the stage.


And man.... he killed it. Toronto was so full of energy. Positive Energy. Picture a couple hundred Canadians at the front of the stage singing every word to Fat Pat's "Top's Drop" then all of a sudden completely losing their shit when Dev's set kicked in. Man....


More trouble. The security guy next to me actually just took off completely flustered. As soon as Devin lit up his joint on stage, the entire place just erupted into a smog out. There wasn't much that could be done.


Dynamic Duo if only for 4 days.


Leslie and video director Erika Shallow.


Me, JB, Ric


Esthero was in the house. Turns out she's a big Devin fan. Those two need to work together. I might bring her to Houston in the spring for an acoustic set.


Devin and Esthero.



Toronto after party was buck wild, but I didn't get any pictures. I'm not sure that my eyes were even able to fully open at that point. But I did perk up when I heard "Southside the Realest" and the whole club exploded. In fact we even went to an after party after our after party, where boy Rory showed 'em how it goes.

Sunday, after a 3 hour lunch at Irie, a Jamaican restaurant on Queen Street with Rodrigo and Wendy, we hit the road to London, Ontario. Pulled straight into an in-store with the ultra good folks at Groove Records, then went to eat at the Alex P. Keaton. I'm saying. It's a bar/restaurant called the Alex P. Keaton. Dynamic wings and pizza.


Fritz the Cat is a long time Devin supporter in Canada. He sewed up the show and even made these crazy t-shirts. His set was off the chain.




Shout out to Fritz and Josh for making this happen!

Then Monday we got home, heads all cloudy, me, practically braindead.


Wednesday night was Damage Control. You can read about that elsewhere, but straight up, after our last few failing fund drives, we raised $1,690. You can't front on that. Big thanks to all of you who helped make that happen. I don't want to leave anyone out, but we had some good folks really come with it. Go-Gettaz and 3rd Degree came with it BIG. Chamillionaire donated $35 X 15. Meaning he made 15 people in the studio new members at $35 a piece ($525). That's what I'm talking about! Thanks Cham!


Go Gettaz from Beaumont, TX


Golden Child, Showtyme


Chyna Whyte showed up!


Swift has produced a lot of the tracks you love from Houston, TX.


Then Thursday During the day we went tot the All Star Music Conference where me, Charlie Braxton, Carlton Wade, Greg Gates, FLX, Bavu Blakes, Rapid Ric and a gang of other folks gathered for a networking mixer of sorts. It wa slike th emost focused underground, real, industry gathering I have seen. Peep the flicks and shout outs to Bernard of Street Pharmacy, the whole Street Pharmacy, Dirty Dave, and everyone I saw/met today. Wow. What's up Club Taylors! What's up Hiram Clarke! (Bavu Blakes and Bernard pictured above)


Bavu Blakes, Bernard Gambrell and Kiara DuPree from Street Fame Ent./DV8 Magazine


Dirty Dave on the mic


Caps-N-Jones joined me on this little excursion. Everything was cool and all, but we showed up about and hour and a half too early and were dropped off by Melissa. So we were basically in a parking lot in Hiram Clarke chopping game with FLX for about an hour when we figured we might as well get some beers, and for some reason pour them in white cups behind the dumpster at the Shell station. I don't know.






Charlie Braxton made the trek from Jacktown, seen here with Chingo Bling's sister Dalila of Big Chile Enterprises. Thanks for the hot sauce!


Donnie Cross reinforces the fact that he's a hater. Great to finally meet this guy!


BP of Street Pharmacy and Juan from 3rd Degree.


That's Greg Gates there right in front of me. Murder Dog alumnus whats up mayne!


TJ from TJ's DJ's and man I forget dude on the rights name....


Kiara DuPree


Clockwise from top left DJ Ryno, Donnie Cross, Rapid Ric, FLX, TJ, Charlie Braxton


Mike Mo, Beltway 8


Rapid Ric, DJ Ryno


Whoooooooooooooooooooo

Then that night I headed out to Proletariat where them boys Caps_N-JOnes were spinning at a special Rockbox in celebration of:


The birthdays of Crystal Lee (seen here with Witnes)


My boy Bobby Hinojosa


and Mike Frost.


Boys smashed 'em.




And no matter what anyone says Caps-N-Jones were definitely NOT smoking weed in the club. That was like some fruity clove shit or some shit. Like special herbal clove type thang thang.


Dizrokwel and Kat


Bobby brought the party with him.


DJ What Now? WHylin' out on the dance floor...


Seen here with Laura Flossin'.


Heather B and friend got down


That's how it goes down. Bed time for me. All Star Maddening recap by Monday....