Blog Archive

Wednesday 31 December 2008

I win for "Grossest New Year Anyone Can Probably Be Experiencing"

Happy new year!

Contrary to the false alarm on my wikipedia entry that proclaimed I died on Xmas day in Dallas, I am alive, kicking, and apparently, blogging too!

More about that later.

As I was saying, Happy New Year!

You know who is NOT happy today?



Me.

You know who is even more unhappy than me today?




The thousands of maggots that lived in my fridge and just got killed.








Bon Appetit! May I tempt you with some nuggets perhaps?


(Although maggots probably do not know it's New Year today... But still... Generally an unhappy day for them.)


Yup. Disgusting.


You are probably wondering why my fridge was in this state. Maybe one day Mike and I will look back upon this story and laugh about it, but not right now.


So anyway... As you already know, we left on 10th of Dec for Dallas, and just reached Singapore on NYE at 1am. That's 22 days including time zone differences.

Before we left the house, we made sure all windows got shut and turned off all our electrical applicances.

Mike said, "Let's just hit the braker, make sure everything is off."

"Okay!" I chirped.

So with that, we turned off the main power supply and left the house with no electricity on - at all.


Two hours later, we were seated on the plane to Korea when I gasped.

"What?!" Mike said.

"The fridge. Oh my god," I replied.

"Oh shit... It's off isn't it? Oh shit." Mike sighed. "I'm so sorry baby... I just didn't realise..."

"Me neither... Oh well, it probably would just go bad... Flies can't go in and lay eggs, can they? It's sealed shut..."



WELL APPARENTLY THEY CAN!


Little fuckers!!!!!!!!!


The moment we opened our door, the stench was so overpowering it seriously like... knocked me backwards. The entire house stank so bad, I had gagging reflexes as I ran to open the balcony door and all windows.

The fridge had a pool of ambiguous brown liquid leaked out underneath it.

That brown liquid had flies on it.


"Maybe it's melted chocolate. I have some chocolate inside," I said hopefully. Doesn't smell like it though.

"I'd bet it's the ground beef..." Mike being ever the pessimist.


We knew we had a packet of nuggets (sealed) some hot dogs (sealed), and some ground beef (not securely sealed in cling wrap). That's all the meat we had.


We were both wrong.

We turned on the fridge to freeze whatever vermin which might be living inside to death first, and finally worked up our courage to open the fridge door the next morning.

Armed with insecticide, we opened it and jumped away in case anything would hop out and leech themselves onto us.

A cloud of opaque air gushed out of the freezer...

OMG....... The smell...... The wiggling of thousands of worms......


I've never been more disgusted in my whole fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


"Are you taking a picture?!!" Mike said indignantly at me as I clicked away. Yeah... Good blogging material what!

"Do you really want to remember this moment?" He asked amidst making gagging noises.

"Might be funny later,"
I shrugged.


No such thing as 'bad time for camwhoring'

And in case you are wondering, the white towel is my gas mask for the day.


So we started cleaning it - Throwing away EVERYTHING inside.


The brown liquid came from a hugeass packet of frozen (once upon a time) chicken breast fillets that we both forgot existed.


It is so muthafucking soggy and disgusting.

The ice trays had ice in it and dead maggots UNDERNEATH the ice.

I only took one picture of the maggots because I ran away after that. Those you see is just a small part of what was actually there.

The inside of the fridge had way more, and there was a palm-sized area that was soooooo full of eggs stuck there, the entire area was just brown in colour.


The smell... Did I already talk about the smell??

It smelt exactly like how the lizard that dead in my computer cables smelt like. Like a somewhat salty, sour smell. A little like dried sotong but 1000 times worse.

And... It goes deep into your nose canal and stays there so that you can still smell it hours later. If you breathe through your mouth, you can even taste it somewhat.

Mike shoo-ed me away to hose all the maggots away... He is so goddamn brave, I tell you.




My hero. He told me to mosaic his ugly clothes.


One hour later Mike cleared most of the stuff off. Maggots 101: They are sticky!

My turn. I scrubbed "egg marks" off with a toothbrush, wiped down all nooks and crevices with a soapy hand towel, then wiped down all surfaces with a dettol-infused hand towel (burns like bleach), then wiped everything with soap again.

All while gagging consistently at the horrible smell.




Dismantled the fridge to clean everything out. The maggots even got inside the back plate of the fridge, those little fuckers!!


Poured Dettol down every possible surface

Dettol is awesome!


And then I squeegeed maggot eggs and excess water off the wet floor into the drains.












There.

We thought after few hours of slogging (mostly Mike slogged coz he reckoned it is his fault) the fridge is spanking clean, even though it still stunk like hell.


So we let it air-dry, went out for lunch, and brought charcoal deodorizer and baking soda.


When we went back home, to my horror, I saw a maggot crawling on the goddamn door! WTFWTFWTF!!! How is that possible?!

(I sprayed it with insecticide to watch it die first. That felt good.)


The answer was that the insides of the rubber flaps that sealed the fridge shut was still bloody infested with eggs and maggots!!! Muthafuckers!


Honestly man... We should've just thrown the bloody fridge away and bought a goddamn new one for our landlord. He can't possibly mind... This fridge is so old and small anyway.

About $400 for a fridge like that... I'd pay double that amount to not have to deal with this shit!


Imagine that.

Some unknowing fucker would open that fridge door, thinking he might be able to get a free fridge from the rubbish pile... AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! It won't be us getting that gush of maggoty fragrance! Orh bi for being a greedy poke!


Sigh. If the smell doesn't clear up, I'm really gonna get a new fridge. I honestly cannot imagine eating any food out of that fridge, ever again.

Cheers!Aren't you happy you are not me?!


Well... The good thing is... my year can only get better!


********************************

So yeah... Someone edited my wiki page to say that I died in a car crash during Xmas day when I was driving alone in Dallas. The person even included the time - approximately 5.30pm!

Creative, huh?!

At precisely that time I was actually in Mike's mom's place eating a sumptuous Xmas dinner of Alaskan crab legs dipped in melted butter.

I was aboard the plane on NYE and was just about to turn off my phone before the plane took off, when Ming called me all the way from Bangkok to USA through Singaporean phone lines.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "Someone wrote on your wiki page you died!"

"Of course I am ok lah! Won't it be fucking scary if I am dead and talking to you now?" I laughed.

After I hung up I felt a bit scared. What if my plane crashed and I died on NYD? Won't it be infinitely morbid?!

But I survived the flights even though they were not very pleasant.


Good joke, whoever you are!!!!!!


I hope you die in a car crash too! :) Remember to let me know during your last surviving moments so I can update your wiki page also, k? What do you mean how? Email me lah! Xiaxue@gmail.com! Oh right... You don't have a wiki page because you are not important enough. Oh well...


But honestly though... I quite understand.

I mean this fucker, whoever he is, actually was online during Xmas day, went to the wikipedia page of a virtual stranger, and entertained himself by editing it with my death.

That about sums up the Xmas Day plans of the biggest loser in the world.

Honestly, shouldn't you be eating turkey with parents who love you and opening presents from people who cared about your existance??


I sound like I am angry, but I actually found this whole thing pretty funny.

Shin Min also called me to ask me to comment about this! They must have found it funny too. :D


I'll update with USA pics soon!!


p/s:

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Just a friendly reminder not to ever turn off your fridge!!

Go Nice, Sexy and Elegant Wedding and Party Gown

Go Nice, Sexy and Elegant Wedding and Party GownGo Nice, Sexy and Elegant Wedding and Party GownGo Nice, Sexy and Elegant Wedding and Party Gown

Tuesday 30 December 2008

Jennifer Aniston - Marley & Me Bringing her back

Jennifer AnistonJennifer AnistonJennifer Aniston back... Even by dog film standards, Marley & Me has committed sins that are unforgivable. It adapted the sappiest memoir not written by Mitch Albom, exploited the holiday movie crowd for $37 million in box office returns and extended Owen Wilson's stay in family comedy purgatory.

The nation owes Marley & Me a debt of gratitude. Though it patronized the American public and did irreparable damage to film in general, Marley and Me achieved what marginally better films including Bruce Almighty, Along Came Polly, Rumor Has It, Derailed, The Break Up and Friends With Money could not: The return of Jennifer Aniston.

:)

Thursday 25 December 2008

Jennifer Aniston - GQ cover got photoshopped

Jennifer AnistonJennifer Aniston admited the real reason why Aniston looked soo h0t on the GQ c0ver on “The View” this week.

"What happened to the girl next door from "Friends?" Barbara Walters asked, holding up the January issue, in which Jenn appears seated, smiling, w/ Aniston' legs crossed, w/ nuttin' but a tie around her neck.

Jennifer Aniston replied. "She's there! Photoshopped!"

Splained Aniston "There was a story behind this," "This had a whole concept. It was going to be in various stages of undress. There was going to be me in a gown and men in tuxedos. And then it would be me wearing the man's shirt. And he would have no shirt on. And then they were supposed to get n_ked! Somehow, I don't know what happened!"

Joy Behar wanted to know if Jennifer Aniston had been tricked, like oh, maybe, Miley Cyrus.

Jenn Aniston said, laughing. "They got me bombed!"

Aniston was probably kidding.

:)

Elegant and Sexy Wedding Gowns by White Outlook

Elegant and Sexy Wedding Gowns by White OutlookElegant and Sexy Wedding Gowns by White Outlook: A Wedding Dress in Luring Appearance

Tuesday 23 December 2008

Jennifer Aniston in "Marley & Me" - Work With Dogs

Jennifer Aniston"Marley & Me" Co-stars Jennifer Aniston says about the joys and challenges of working with dogs.

Jennifer Aniston say that Having her own dogs helped only because she wasn’t afraid of dogs. But, honestly, she was so easy to work with. she would say the younger Marleys were tougher. To hit their mark, it was a little bit more challenging for the trainers. They had a ball. They never had a hard time.

Aniston added that The difficult scene where they were taking him (dog) to get neutered. That was definitely a challenging scene in the car ‘cause we also had Matilda, the trainer, in the back seat, who was fantastic. It was just a lot of action for the dog.

Jennifer didn’t adopt a dog. She has an adopted dog. Both of her dogs are adopted, but that was years ago. She almost adopted the dog that’s in the poster.

Jennifer Aniston want to do this role, playing a wife and mother, She has been pregnant in so many movies, it’s ridiculous.

The reason Jennifer Aniston wanted to be in this movie was because it wasn’t the girl trying to get the guy, or the guy trying to get the girl, or the chase, and then you end the movie where they ride off into the sunset. This is sort of the sequel to that. We basically get to see the ins and outs of a relationship, over 15 years, and have this human thread that takes you through, that is funny just because life is funny and dramatic. She just loved it. She responded to the material.

Jennifer Aniston' favorite dog movie is Benji.

:)

Elegant, White and Sexy Night Party Gown

Elegant White and Sexy Night Party GownElegant, White and Sexy Night Party Gown

Monday 22 December 2008

Now watch videos on YouTube in 720p High Definition (HD) quality for Free

YouTube recently launched an exclusive High Definition section for the US users. Users who have access to this section can watch the videos in 720p HD quality.

How YouTube has this working is when you happen to upload a video onto YouTube in HD quality - YouTube will automatically have a new buton called "Watch it in HD" just below the player's lower right hand corner. Currently you have a button called "watch it in high quality" in that space for a few videos. On clicking the "Watch it in HD" button, it expands the standard viewing window to 16 x 9 with a 1280 x 720 resolution for HD viewing.

Also, YouTube already says that users who would like to have their videos available in HD quality need to look at the videos' aspect ratio. Also, the new YouTube widescreen player will automatically add "pillarbox" bars to 4:3 videos, so if a video was already letterboxed to fit the 4:3 window, it will be doubly resized (that's a concern since it will surely create an unpleasant viewing experience).

Currently we are seeing that the HD resolution of 720p is fast becoming a standard among the online video sharing sites. Professional video content syndication web sites such as Hulu already offer HD as an option. Soon we'll have Netflix and Amazon video on-demand services to offer high definition through the browser as well. So this area is gonna be competitive!!

Sunday 21 December 2008

ROLL WITH IT!

Advertorial

Ever felt like this before?








After a long day of wearing lens, or just being awake, your eyes feel so lifeless and tired?

Tadah!!

I just got sponsored Garnier's Light Brightening Eye Roll-On!!



It's a great invention and I'm surprised that it took humankind so long to develop something like this!



The Roll-on comes in a slim and cute little tube like this - and to soothe puffy or tired eyes, all you have to do is to roll it on!

It uses a state-of-the-art roll-on to massage away tiredness from your eyes, and massaging is a technique used by experts to boost natural draining and decongest tired eyes!

With a stroke of genius, Garnier also added CAFFEINE into the roll-on - that acts as a natural simulant to boost your circulation and give an extra perk to your eyes!



Cleverly, the roll-on comes with an extremely convenient little metal ball to aid your application.

The metal ball is cold and damn shiok! Now I won't fall asleep during MJ anymore!!

No more messing around with eye creams (God I hate those, I can never properly dig the cream out with long nails) or feeling ridiculous when you bring your eye cream out with you.

This one fits right into any handbag!



I think it's perfect for long plane rides. :)

Time to give it a test!



Putting it over my eye area!



Nice cooling effect as the liquid immediately gets absorbed by my skin.



Blend it in.



And you get happy eyes!!!



Garnier also came up with a cute application for phones!

Ever wished you had a Magic 8 ball to bring around with you in case of tough decisions? Well, here's one for your phone, FREE!!

You can download it here and it's super easy!

The game is really simple - your sunny yellow roll-on helps you decide whether you should ROLL WITH IT, or ROLL AWAY!






Rotating... Hurry up, my important life decisions are depending on you!



Well, since I was at home that night, I obviously had loads of things to decide on.


For example ---




I am peckish! Should I or should I not?

Let the game decide!!!!!!


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WHAT!

This means I can't eat my Jagabee!!



I don't care!!!





WOOHOO!

It's totally telling me to Roll with it!!!!!!











Having satisfied my stomach, I skip around trying to find other things to Roll with.


SPOTTED!!!






Cute guy sleeping!!!!!


Should I go kiss him???????



Let the game decide!!!!!!!!!!






Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........................


Must be a technical glitch.






Woohoo! This time it's right!!





Muah muah muah muah muah muah muah muah!!!!!!!




FUN ISN'T IT?!

Remember to visit Rollwithit.com.sg to download this cute game on your mobile for free!



** I do not encourage using this method to decide on whether you oughta murder tonight, or do other illegal things. I'm quite sure the judge will not accept this as an excuse.



P/s: Yes I am aware I got loads of black roots showing. I'm about to go dye it already la, ok! Quit harping on it!

Pretty White Accent Wedding Gown

Pretty White Accent Wedding GownPretty White Accent Wedding Gown: Peachy Night Wedding Dress

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer as a couple?

Jennifer AnistonJennifer aniston and John Mayer, What's the potential?
Do you think he is using her for her celebrity status?

I don't seem Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer hitting it off. I used to like John Meyer, but then I heard that the reason he ditched Jessica Simpson was because he thought she wasn't skinny enough (but u know how the media can lie) but anyway after that, I thought he was just a jerk.

It's publicity. Jennifer Aniston does't want to promote her movie being single. We're suppose to believe that since Aniston's "with" John Mayer, Aniston's desirable. It's going to come back and bite her in the *** when they break up.

:)

Thursday 18 December 2008

Jason ties the nuptial knot :: JasPari

So that's what has kept me away from updating this blog for quite sometime now. Most of the regulars here already know about this (Since most of them mailed / pinged me). For those who weren't aware - Yes I did tie the nuptial knot to Pari. Incidentally my wife too loves blogging and has a very informative and entertaining blog over at www.JasPari.info

Here's a collage of a few pics from the wedding.


Cheers!!
Jason