Worst dressed ever

Eh, any similiarities are purely coincidental, and below scenario is just a figment of the author's imagination.

***************************************

It couldn't have been a more ordinary day at the newsroom. Everyone had left, it was late. Well, almost everyone.

Wee Tuck was walking along his colleagues desks, interestingly lined with colourful posters of the various celebrities they like and the more expensive of the junk given out during press conferences.

He was slobbering over a doughnut bought from the level 5 food court, slightly aware of the calories adding to his increasingly pudgy body, but what the fuck, not like anyone thinks of him as an sex object or something.

He snorted into the doughnut at that thought. Yeoh Wee Tuck the sex god! Ha!

What's that sound?!

He heard a slight buzz from Jeanmaria Tan's (or Jaria as they called her for short... what's with the two first names anyway?!) desk and looked into her cubicle.

Something looks suspicious. Jaria was focusing intently on her computer screen, which had a picture of a man.

Her hands were not on the mouse nor keyboard, but tucked under the messy desk.

"JARIA!" Wee tuck shouted. "Watcha doing?!"

The ugly woman screamed "FUCK!" and something clanked to the floor. Something bulky and silver and black and... vibrating?

It was an iPamper.

The iPamper, oblivious to the questioning stare of Wee Tuck, continued to buzz happily on the carpet, turning itself a full circle before Wee Tuck looked up incredulously at Jaria.

Ew.

Ew, ew, ew.

Comprehension dawned on his face, and the woman looked suitably embarrassed, all while mumbling something about it being late and she thought nobody was around...

He suddenly remembered himself having a backache after a football report last Monday, and he had rubbed his back all over with that borrowed iPamper and EWWWWWWWWW... FUCK! He retched into the bin, his wet doughnut bits soaking up the waste papers.

To Wee Tuck's horror, while he was trying to get the bile spit out, Jaria started wailing like she just got widowed.

"JUDGE ME WILL YOU?" She screamed. "I am LONELY, OK? My husband only... wait, you gay right Wee Tuck?"

Wee Tuck frowned. What has that got to do with anything?? "Yes, so what?" he asked tensely, adding "you stupid fuck" in his head.

"Gay people can't keep secrets, they are always gossiping," declared Jaria.

"I can keep a secret," whispered Wee Tuck in what he hoped was a sympathetic voice. He really couldn't care less about Jaria's sordid affairs but a secret's always welcome.

"Well my husband... He only wants to have sex like once every 2 months or something! And when he does, he screws me sideways in the dark - 3 mins, max - and leaves the wet patch on my side of the bed! MY SIDE! The fucking bastard!" Jaria was lolling in terror at the memory.

Wee tuck look at Jaria and thought, Well, who could blame him? and formed various vicious standpoints in his mind about how women should always keep up with good physique like gay boys always do.

Instead he said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that would explain the iPamper... I won't tell anyone." He already decided he would warn people not to touch the cursed device. Ew ew ew.

"Was on discount," Jaria whimpered.

There was an awkward silence and Wee Tuck leaned forward towards the computer screen (thank god girls don't leave residue) to check out Jaria's arousal object.

She realised what he was doing, and hastily turned off the power, but alas! a gasp of recognition was already issued from Wee Tuck's mouth.

Jaria groaned. Today was seriously not her day.

"YOU KIDDING ME. Xiaxue's boyfriend??! Hahahaha! Didn't know you liked angmohs!"

Jaria explained incoherently about how she just happened to surf by and attempted to change the topic by asking what Wee Tuck wrote about today. She also turned off the iPamper, which was proving to be an annoyance buzzing endlessly when not applied on one's genitals.

"Best dressed celebrities of 2006," Wee Tuck lamented in a drone.

The gay stylish instints inside him radiated with anger thinking about Singapore's celebrities and their boring dress sense. UNFORGIVEABLE! They are sooo boring! Look at the hollywood stars! He rolls his eyes.

"OH?" said Jaria, her eyes shining with maliciousness. Man, Wee Tuck thought. This woman is really, really frustrated and angry.

"Think you could include a worst dressed category?" she inquired.

Wee Tuck squirmed, thinking he already knows what the bitch was up to. "Erm, I already wrote the article."

"I'll add it in for you! Page long?" she quipped.

"Ya... So you wanna put Xiaxue into worst dressed?" Let it go, woman, why hold a grudge for so long?? Wee Tuck couldn't understand.

"Naturally, duh! Hate her! Let me see, gotta go get her stock photos and choose a picture." Jaria never stopped smiling rather crazily while talking, and actually rubbed her hands in glee.

"But she is not generally badly-dressed... Not like she goes to star awards or something... She's mostly just in tank tops yeah?"

"AHA! How about this one?" Jaria found a photo in their database.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Wee Tuck stared at her.

"What do you think?" she asked in a crazed whisper. The glint in her beady eyes was freaky.

Wee Tuck stuttered a little.

"Well, firstly, it won't qualify Xiaxue as a 2006 worst dresser because that photo was taken almost half a year before 2006 even started... And secondly, what you gonna say about her attire?"

Jaria shrugged and said, "Eh... It's fucking skanky."

Wee Tuck frowned. 2005 was the year of the bohemian, and everyone wore stuff like that. Bailing is shanky. A midriff top and a long skirt? Nay. A tad fat maybe, but not shanky.

Besides, if he didn't remember wrongly, it was their paper who ask XX in for an interview, and told her to dress as sexily as possible. Seems a tad unreasonable to attack her for what they told her to wear...

"So? Use this?" Jaria stared at him rather fiercely.

"Can't you try to find something else?" Wee Tuck sighed. "Something that is more reasonable to attack her with?"

Jaria picked up the iPamper and smacked Wee Tuck on the head with it. Ew!

"I DON'T FUCKING HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE, OK? I AM A FUCKING JOURNALIST AND I WRITE ANYTHING I WANT!!!"

"Fine, ok ok, I'd put Fiona next to her or something, just promise NOT to touch me with that thing again!"

Jaria smiled her ugly smile.

*************************

In Teban Gardens, someone was smiling too. She decided that she would dress a thousand times more skankily just so she can get the award again next year too!

They can say all they want!

The internet was fully functional (and way more flexible) for her retorts, and most importantly, unlike all celebrities, reporters had absolutely nothing to gain from the extra fame.

*************************

Woah, article of me today!

This has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with what I wrote above. That's a totally fictional story, of course. :)

200Devin is Upon Us

So I have been pretty lax with the updates thru all these holidays but rest assured I'm going to have something for your New Years Day Hang Over. New Years Eve is the 2nd Anniversary of HoustonSoReal aqnd I plan to spend all night on it again, like I did 2 years ago. I have some new music, photos and YouTubage I haven't posted up yet. Plus a full on holiday report from headquarters with stories of how I drank Genny Cream Ale, ate apple pie for breakfast and dchocolate peanut butter balls for lunch. I'm also going to tell you that my mother bought me boxer shorts with weed leafs all over them for Christmas and a DVD player I plan to set to region 2 so I can watch DVD's from other places on the TV not just the computer. Yeah man it's gonna be off the chain believe me. I got stories and such fo dat ass. And music. And videos.

And I am also going to outline my New Years resolutions which will be magnanimous undertakings but fuck it.

I'm also going to strive to be easier to work with. I think I just lost another job this week because I can't keep my mouth shut when editors start acting like Dilberts.

Why must everything have a formula? Why are these formulas created by the most boring of our society? Why are the most boring of our society in charge? In the nation that exists in my mind, drunks rule and stoners guard the roost.

I don't know.

Abacuses and slide rules for everyone.

And Genny Cream Ale. And Shiner Bock.

And Bukowski dvds. (why are there so many of these now that dude is dead?)

Go Vegan Texas.

R.I.P. Eban Doss

Photo courtesy of (I mean taken from) the Houston Chronicle Website)

Not too much known about what happened, but from what I heard... Inspirational, experimental, DJ and producer Eban Doss has passed from a short, but long bout with Melanoma/Skin Cancer. I honestly don't know a lot of details and didn't know dude really well but always admired his music and thought he was pretty cool. There will be a Memorial event celebrating his life on Friday night, I think at the Grab. More details to follow.

Cuz Davey D Said That

I mean he sent it. In a mass email. But it's the truth and I hope it means something to you. Change for 2007 is the motto on all levels. Change ourselves. Change the government. Change the arts. Change the structure. Change it all cuz it ain't working in it's current state.

Anyway, this is by Kristine Wright, a voice that needs to be heard.

Hit DaveyD.com on the regular for the real.

Rise up Hip Hop Nation: Making 2007 the Year of Sustainable Change
by Kristine Wright (Tina)

On the eve of a new year, I'd like to begin by offering peace and respect to everyone everywhere. While many are celebrating the holiday season, many more are suffering. Some are reflecting on the year gone by, while others are just praying the New Year will bring new possibilities for joy, peace, sustenance and justice. This is the time of year for reflection on the past and resolutions for the future. For me, this annual process led me to important questions. How can we make 2007 the year of sustainable change? What concrete steps can we take to address what ails our communities and our global village more broadly? Wherever we are in life, whether blessed or oppressed, affluent or struggling, the condition of the global village will directly affect us all sooner or later, and it is in our best interest to work towards sustainable change.

The first thing we must do is realize that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. We can no longer wish for better and act the same, maintaining status quo by default. To get out of the hell that corporate greed, concentrated power, western imperialism, religious fanaticism, and "ideology over reality" have created, we must get specific about what it will take to realize people power. It is not enough to be compassionate, you must act (14th Dalai Lama, 1992). And here are a few specific things you can do:

1. Pick one local issue and one global issue that you will educate your self about and stay informed!

2. Join two organizations that deal with your issues of choice (feel free to email me if you need some suggestions).

3. Mentor one child (For parents, mentor your children fully and completely). For childless adults (21+), mentor a child at your local school, Boys/Girls Club, or Big Brother/Big Sister organizations. Each One Teach One; Each One Reach One.

4. Sign at least one petition a month. Activism in the digital age is much easier than in previous ages, and it is easier to stay informed via the internet and email. For those that do not have internet access at home, utilize your city's public library.

5. Recognizing that all media is framed (left/right, conservative/liberal), get your news from multiple media sources. By doing this, you will learn to separate facts from ideology.

6. Attend three community meetings or rallies a year or volunteer at community service centers at least three times a year. Getting involved in your community will lead to changes on the community level which will manifest on the global level eventually.

7. Be a conscious consumer. It's a simple as this: support what you believe helps your community, reject what does not.

8. Vote. Whether the system works or doesn't; whether elections are stolen or not. Too many of our forefather and foremothers died to give us the right to vote, and for no other reason than that, we need to honor that right. I strongly recommend all, particularly full time workers, consider absentee voting (this way you don't have to worry about making it to the polls on the day of the election). Visit your state's Secretary of the State page to register to vote and/or sign up as an absentee voter. Voting is easy and doesn't cost to do, but it might cost greatly when we do not. Do not buy into the idea that two evils are the same. There is no more striking example than the Iraq war to disprove this belief. I know if the 2000 election resulted in President Gore instead of Bush, we would not have hundred of thousands of dead Iraqis and thousands of dead and wounded service people. As well, global warming, and science in general, would be taken much more seriously. Voting may not directly affect your community but not voting could. To directly affect your community, it takes activism by community members and this list hopefully provides some guidance.

9. Make a sincere effort to communicate across class, color and generational lines. Most of what ails our community could be fixed with honest, open dialogue. With this we could overcome the internal divisions that separate us, and unity could be realized.

10. FORGIVE. No sustainable change will be possible until we develop the ability to be critical but forgiving, unyielding on principle but yielding on people and humanity. Mistakes have been made but if we let our mistakes keep us divided, it will impede our progress. We have to embrace our mutual interests and avoid getting clogged down in our differences. A community divided is a community conquered indeed. I challenge those in conflict to take time to dialogue on what divides us (hip hop v. civil rights generation, mainstream v. underground, rapper v. rapper, bourgeois v. proletariat) and find common ground to work together on. Sustainable change will require that brothers and sisters reconcile with our humanity, and forgive past (as well as future) shortfalls and indiscretions.

It is in human nature to be self-preserving, even at the expense of our progress at times. Informants have sold out movements for personal reward – and will again; some leaders have played politics at the community's expense for power – and continue to; brothers and sisters have disrespected themselves and their ancestors through some thoughtless actions (and even profit from some of this in hip hop). Our inability to forgive one another's trespasses will be our biggest impediment toward self determination. While I believe critical analysis of people that hurt our cause is essential, making criticism of others our primary focus makes it that more difficult to find common ground and unify around common interests. In the words of Iyanla Vanzant, Be against nothing…just be clear what you are for.


Here are a few things I'd like to see happen on an institutional level:

1. Black media needs to step up and serve the community, not exploit it. I see great room for this right now because it seems that commercial "urban" radio is at a crossroads. The music industry in general, and the hip hop industry, in particular, will never be the same, due to many things: the digital age being one of the major reasons. Hip Hop radio is struggling these days. It is the perfect time for radio to get innovative and diversify its play lists. It's obvious that the listening community is finally grown weary of the same ole' same ole'. What is needed is a more representative and balanced vision of hip hop. But even more than that, the media needs to inform listeners of issues that affect their lives. I see some success of that happening with national syndicated programs like the Michael Baisden Show (which is creating a community of 50+ heavily populated Black cities across the country every weekday and discussing some important issues that affect the community). As well, he has given airtime for everyday community organizers and entrepreneurs to promote their events and businesses. This is a good model to embrace.

Hip hop stations need to give quality time to issues important to the hip hop community. I'd like to see commercial stations like K-DAY (in L.A. and streaming worldwide) give a primetime 30 minute spot weekdays, and an hour weekend spot to this type of broadcast. Davey D's Breakdown FM Radio provides a great model. I'd also like to see 5 minute spots @ 4pm for community event listings, particularly for positive youth events. Finally, radio stations need to sponsor & broadcast dialogues at community high schools at least once a month. All these efforts will build community through dialogue and activism.


2. The panel on the annual State of the Black Union must be diversified by class and age. I know Tavis Smiley has interviewed a number of hip hoppers on his show, including Talib Kweli, Jill Scott, Common, Chuck D, KRS-One, Nas, Queen Latifah, and Saul Williams. Last year, given the emphasis on Katrina, it would have been beneficial to include on the panel someone like David Banner, or Kanye West, or community activists like Rosa Clemente or Fred Hampton Jr. (who organized community level Katrina relief efforts).

Hip hop needs to be represented for the annual State of the Black Union to have legitimacy. So I hope this message make its way to organizers and the oversight from last year will be remedied this year. All classes of our community need to be heard as well. At last year's forum, two Katrina survivors were brought on stage and given a couple minutes to discuss their experiences. Why was this brother and sister not invited to sit on the panel and add their perspectives to the dialogue? As long as activist do not respect the intellect of the most oppressed among us (poor and working class), and activists and leaders preach to the community they wish to uplift, instead of working with and learning from the community they wish to uplift, there will be no sustainable change.

3. Rappers and Media Program Producers: Stop using the n-word and derogatory words like bitch for women on records and other media forms. Substitute these with words like brotha, sista, and fam(ily), etc.. I realize that erasing a word that has a 400 year history in the vernacular of the Black community is not going to happen anytime soon. The masses in day to day speech will continue to use it, but people that put out products that must be edited and packaged before sale have the ability to be much more selective in what they put out there. Leading by this example will make a difference in our youth's psyche. We already have proof of that. When Public Enemy and other rap groups wore the X caps and African medallions in the late 80s and early 90s, the masses followed their example, and the consciousness of the people grew.

4.Community Policing. All oppressed communities should adopt the Black Panther model of community policing. Police watch organizations like the Ella Baker Center in Oakland, CA have had success in keeping the police (who are sworn to protect and serve the community) accountable. On top of this, community policing will counter the power that destructive entities (violence, drugs, delinquencies) have on our community youth. Be visible and be engaged.

This list is a start. It is in no way definitive, but it will bring sustainable community change if each and every one of us acts on suggestions listed (and others). The reason I focus on sustainable change is because our history shows us that we are very capable of big movements (Abolition, U.N.I.A., Civil Rights, Black Power), but what we have not been able to do as yet is sustain these progressive movements. To sustain them, we need continual people power and community involvement. Micro level activism can off set macro level power imbalances.

Sustainable change will take more than just vision for a better tomorrow; it will take reconciliation with the past and acceptance of the present reality. The reality is that social structure rules our lives. And like the entire natural world, humans must adapt to survive whatever structural conditions they must bear, and today that entails an uneven distribution of resources where 6% control most and 94% have little. When we reconcile with this reality, we can move to build solutions, based on "what is" instead of "what ifs".

So while the Panthers tried to build consciousness they also served the community with hot meals and health care. Bob Marley inspired souljahs across the globe, but those in most need in his native country, he gave food and shelter to daily. It is the only way to liberation: people must live before they can grow in consciousness and self determination, and each of us can take these specific actions to help our fellow beings live, learn and grow, both physically and consciously. Through self determination, we can free ourselves from dependency on a system that has never, and will never, serve us well. So for the New Year, I offer this list of specific actions individuals and communities can adopt, and if we follow it and work together to build on it, we can finally move the crowd…to freedom. One love.

v One God! One Aim! One Destiny! –
Marcus Garvey and the UNIA


v Someday at Christmas, there'll be no wars....When we have learned what Christmas is for...When we have found what life's really worth, there'll be peace on Earth –
Stevie Wonder
__________________________________________________

I also really liked this article by my man Jeff Liles on the true death of the album. Jeff is one of my REAL FOLKS FOR REAL. So hit the link and give it a read.

Also I plan on doing a short, unexciting look back at 2006 before 2007 sometime. Also, tonight on Damage Control we will have a special James Brown tribute mix by DJ Chill and some other shit I am sure.

I Need 20,000

Hits. In the next week. I gotta hit a million hits by 200Devin. Can anyone out there help me? Let your people know we got a free Devin track, a Christmas mix and randy photos of wanton women scattered throughout. I guess it doesn't really matter but it would be nice to roll this bitch over to a million just as the new year sets in.

2007 > 2006 (and 2006 was pretty good for me).

Merry Christmas Y'all!

Xmas eve sucks!!!!

Xmas eve sucks!!!!!

I don't really know anyone who sincerely enjoys it (maybe bangalas, but of course, I don't "know" them), because it is so bloody festive that you are EXPECTED to have fun, EXPECTED to not be lonely.

Everyone else is also busy pretending to have fun, so if you don't, you seem like a bloody loser.

And what happens when you have expectations and do not meet them? Disappointment and frustration.

Organising stuff to do on Xmas eve is always a bloody pain in the ass. You can go to organised events (ie parties on bloody orchard road - I hope you guys have the sense not to go, unless of course you are a bangala, then you can meet a lot of people from your country have foam the girls), but organised events are always sooooo crowded.

Before you can start to enjoy yourself, you have to defend yourself against the crowds. Theft, molest, people stepping on your toes, etc. How fun!

OR

You can organise "fun" stuff yourself.

But firstly, WHAT fun stuff? And secondly, organising is a pain, and besides, everything is so expensive.

And the most troubling of all - who should you go out with?

I wonder if in real life people have friends like in Friends (I'm talking about Monica Ross Phoebe Friends), a stable group of people you can hang out with every year on lonesome holidays (I can act emo by saying "the more crowded it is the more alone I feel" but lucky for you I am not that sort of disgusting blogger) and be sure not to go into a frenzy trying to get something to do.

But IMHO, it is near impossible to have a stable group of friends, because realistically speaking Monica-and-Chandler rarely happens, and people in the group (especially the girls) will tend to have their other halves to spend Xmas with, and will abandon their group.

Or be spending Xmas overseas, also effectively abandoning the group...

Group of four dwindles to two, then do you still meet the "group", or seek other plans?

Maybe meet another group that you are not so familiar with? But you don't wanna spend Xmas with people you don't really know leh...

People say you can always fall back on family, but Momo is out partying with her boyfriend and his friends (what did I say about girls?), Clinton is staying at his friend's place, and I am alone at home!

Well with stupid Cloudy who shitted in the hallway yesterday. GAH!

Anyway this year I've got Kelvin, who is the sort of person who will BRING the girlfriend into the group (because he is key person of the group and if he is missing likely everyone won't meet at all; and also, said girlfriend will be abandon HER group, thus making HER group not be able to meet up), so I am invited to the party at his house with the rest of the gang lar.

In that sense I feel that male friends seem to be more reliable.

Obviously there are also the sort of guy who will go missing when their girlfriend is around, but my guy friends are constantly bringing different girls into the group, making me feel...

That girls are somehow just... part of their men.

I don't know why I had this startling feeling that day, but I was out with some of my girlfriends, and all of them were attached.

We talked about our boyfriends, and it suddenly hit me that we are not WHOLE, we are merely the other half of our men. A sidekick if you must.

I realised that one fine day, all of us will get married, have a family, and that family will consume all that is important to us. Friends will rank way below husband and kids.

I'm not really explaining this feeling I have very well, but it felt a bit like the boyfriends LET their girlfriends out for a gathering among ourselves, and there we are, chattering, insignificant, unwhole.

I think I might be going crazy.

It was just a very fleeting feeling, and I told Shuyin about what I felt, and she just frowned and said she disagreed with me and never felt that way.

But you know what I mean right? I am not talking about my particular girlfriends in this scenario coz they are not like that, but surely you girls know what I am talking about.

Like, everyone has this female friend who has always been attached, and seems that her whole life will topple if she didn't have someone to lean on even for a bit. She can't survive as a lead character on her own.

I suppose there are guys like that too, but it is quite a bit more uncommon than females.

Anyway, went off on a tangent. As I was saying, the last reliable alternative is going to church. But going to church just for xmas seems really stupid (and not to mention blasphemous)!

In conclusion, Xmas sucks. So does New Year, V-day, etc.

Mindless clubbing pictures:

Nose's all blurred out coz you guys are supposed to get the first glimpse of it on the last episode of Girls Out Loud!




Before meeting Junne and the boys...

Can see the bridge and my lovely implant.
*implant blushes in pleasure*

Went to MoS!






New club "The Clinic".

It's really cool, go check it now! Now complimentary entry via MoS I think.

We go into Smoove's members' area, which is designed to look like a basketball court:



Basketball chairs!








Martin


Martin moments later! Ha!


Hehe inner gayness shows in Kelvin

Tim's turn

Tim also wants a piece of the action!


Ann looks at Vyasa in a new light.
My implant stares.


Vyasa looked wonky-eyed in this, so I added some photoshop sunglasses for him.
But look at Tim! Look so funny can.


Kel + me + new implant + new tattoo (photoshopped)!


A juicy bracelet I bought from the states... :D




Kel again

p/s: Vyasa just called to say the boys are gonna play dota for a bit. Did I just say they are reliable???!

Me, "You guys are not going to do the countdown thing in the lan shop right?"

Vyasa, "Ha! We are not going to do the countdown thing at all!"

Well, Merry fucking Xmas to you! Hate it. So commercialised. (WOoo I just realised I typed "Merry Xmas" at the exact stroke of midnight!!)

Want my baby here but he is sooooooooooo far away.

I know, Girls Out Loud rules!!

Thanks for the good feedback for the 3rd episode!! Haha...

Many people were like asking me if I was really pissed at Mia, or just faking it for the camera.

I wish I were faking it ah! Means I am a wonderful actress. But unfortunately I don't think I am up to that level yet.

But you tell me lar, if some ugly "model" keep preaching to you how to live your life and write your blog, you not sian meh? Obviously pissed right? You guy can't see, but I was actually trembling in anger (and also a bit scared and awkward - it's a horrifying mix of feelings).

Mia actually said more ridiculous things, like how for example, her love for bangalas stemmed from the fact that once upon a time... She was in Little India MRT, and an old man fell down and got trapped by the closing train door or something...

And according to her, "a dozen black hands" stuck out and helped the old man.

*cue heroic music*

She therefore thinks that all bangalas are very kindly, sweet creatures.

And also, as a "pageant winner", the grand responsibility of defending bangalas lies on her, because - obviously, don't you see? - people who help an old man get untrapped can never be lecherous lawless molesters.

*looks very confused, implant shakes in disbelief* (I'm gonna blog from now on about how my implant reacts to situations. It is as if it has a life of it's own!!! Help me think of a name for it muahahaha.)

Dunno lar! It was really super awkward, Gillian had us doing the staring scene AGAIN and AGAIN, and can you imagine I have to keep looking into Mia's eyes for like 20 times till G is happy!!!!!!!!!

GILLIAN HATES ME!!! She thinks that making me face people I don't like makes good tv!!! (Mia, Steven Lim, Izzy - they all make my implant shrivel)

Next season maybe we will have Jean Marie Tan and the blogtv old chick. The people who dislike me and vice versa are aplenty! Rozz says she has none. -_- Where got people get along with everybody one??!

You can watch episode 3 of GoL on youtube...

Been thinking of getting a tattoo for a long time now...

Wanna get the bottom pink ribbon on my left arm, but I spoke to Momo about it today, and she said she will chase me out of the house if I ink myself.

Damn drama ok.

I'm getting it anyhow, it's just a matter of time.

I don't care if you guys don't like my pink ribbon! It symbolises that from this moment on in life, I am clear what I want to do - I want to be FRIVOLOUS.

For the past 22 years, I've always been torn between two things - vanity and intellect.

I could focus on the fun part of life - being pretty, being vapid; or I could be dull but, well, smarter.

It seems at first thought that the two need not be exclusive, but they ARE. Well, at least to me they are.

I don't really know how to explain this (possibly coz vanity won the battle since years ago and rotted my brains)...

I was telling Wong the other day when we were driving back from supper.

Supposing this life, I am still me inside, but my physical appearance is so far from below average that I could do nothing to salvage it.

My only other source of enjoyment will be to focus on my studying (so ugly, might as well study hard, earn money), which, at the younger part of my life, I excelled in, and brought me attention and distinction from other people.

I am that sort of person who lives for attention. Nothing makes me more happy than people paying attention to me, and praising me for the good jobs I do.

If being 1st in class brought me admiring glances, then study I will.

But unfortunately for me, nothing brings more instant gratification than looking good.

If I didn't care that much about my looks and the other superficial stuff in life, or rather, chose not to care, I'm sure I could have spend a lot more of my time on reading, maybe writing a novel, or I dunno what else I would have done. Trying to earn a lot of money maybe?

When I started this blog it was just light-hearted writing, but people started saying how they think I am stupid.

Up till today, I am the pioneer of full-time blogging in Singapore, yet people are still saying that! Let's see them try to earn a living doing this. =D

I got very uncomfortable being labelled STUPID, and felt I had to prove them all wrong by raking out PSLE or O Level results, and the ultimate is of course to attempt to join Mensa.

So now Mensa tells me my IQ is 148 and above, higher than 98% of you reading this, but SO WHAT?

There will always be an endless flow of people saying I am stupid, just because of my appearance.

Yes, people in that 98%, calling me dumb. It used to infuriate me so bad.

I love blonde hair, love fake eyelashes, and I love my big curls. I love writing in Singlish, love scolding vulgarites, and I love making bimbo jokes... and if all these things I love are mutually exclusive with how an intelligent person is perceived to be, then SO BE IT.

But now, especially with the show stamping a new benchmark in my life, I DECIDED AM DONE WITH PROVING MYSELF TO THE PUBLIC.

If people are gonna say I am a bimbo, I will just smile, knowing that it is them who are too simple-minded to see through a PERSONA.

Yes, that's what it is, a persona.

You think Ali G is real? Or Borat? Is Oprah really concerned? Howard Stern really so straightforward? Or is Paris Hilton really so stupid? The fact is you will never know, so don't judge.

Just because some people have different priorities in life, it doesn't mean that if the situation arises they cannot solve a logarithm equation.

I decided on my priorities (ie focusing on superficiality) when I decided to go into Polytechnic, so from today onwards I will not waver anymore and just appear to be as air-headed as everyone chooses to perceive me to be.

=)

Definition
intelligence (ABILITY)
noun [U]
the ability to learn, understand and make judgments or have opinions that are based on reason



...
Doesn't say anything about having a degree or not having heavy make up on.

Two super long blog entries in a row! I'm getting my blogging bug back.

THIS WEEKS DAMAGE CONTROL!

Finna pop a couple pictures up in a few but I wanted to make sure yall had this on yer mp3 playas before you hit the road for that holiday people seem to love so much this time of year and such.

DOWNLOAD IT DONT STREAM IT FOOOOOL!

I love it too. Keep yer head up and your belly full if possible this weekend and show somebody some semblence of love for once in your life you heathens.

Blasted luck

Bah humbug!

Recently keep having bouts of bad luck - like not ultra bad luck but the funny sort you kinda see in slapstick comedy you know...

NJ bad luck (nose job)

Momo drove me to my check-up with Dr Huang and at Ulu Pandan Road some fucking tree toppled right before us, so the entire road came to a standstill.

Dr Huang (hereafter referred to as Dr H despite me wanting to hao lian my nose is a whooping $12,000 [!!!] and done by arguably the best rhinoplasty surgeon in Singapore - Dr Martin Huang that is) had surgery to do after meeting two more patients, so if I don't hurry I thought I can't take off my bandages that day, and I really wanted to!

So I got out of Momo's car and hurdled over the damp railing to the other side of the road, where the cars were going smoothly in the opposite direction, unhindered by inconsiderate trees.

It was lightly drizzling, so I walked towards the bus stop, and waited there for a cab.

Promptly, one guy came down from the overhead bridge (must be also another person stuck in the jam), stood like 2 metres away from my bus stop, and stole my cab.

Wonderful. It's ok though, perhaps he didn't see me.

I sat down at the bus stop to call a cab, and thought to myself, "Well, if I see a cab I will stand up and flag it."

Then this fucking angmoh lady came down from the same overhead bridge, and hailed for cabs.

I went up to her and politely told her (all while looking suitably woebegone in my nose bandages and the bottom of my nose stitched up) that I was waiting for a cab too, and I came first.

She sneered down at me (angmoh tall what...) and said,

"Yeah? You were sitting down at the bus stop, you weren't waiting for a cab."

And with that she turned her back to me and continued hailing vigorously at the non-existant cab flow.

I frowned at her and said, "Well, I was trying to avoid the rain, and besides, that doesn't matter. I am telling you now that I was waiting for a taxi, ok?"

Cheebye angmoh bitch continued ignoring me and soon she was joined by two of her friends, one redhead and one blonde.

At this point I was a bit distracted coz I was on the phone with the cab operator, but she just continued hailing and hailing - just RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!

While I was listening silently to the phone she took the chance to insult me to her (American I think) friends, saying, "Only in Singapore can this happen..." and yadda yadda continued to insult Singaporeans while gesturing rudely at me.

WTF??? I DON'T THINK IN ANY COUNTRY PEOPLE WOULD ALLOW YOU TO STEAL THEIR CABS FROM LIKE 2 METRES AWAY FROM THEM LOR!

What a MEGA BITCH!

And besides, I was totally polite to her (I thought she had two largish friends anyway and if they want to be rude and steal my cab with brute force then there is nothing I can do. Besides, the bandaged nose IS a rather obvious target she can hit if she gets pissed off).

I said to her, "Hey look, please be reasonable, ok? I don't mean to sound rude, but I 've really got to rush to a surgery and I was waiting here before you."

YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?

"YEAH? SO AM I (going for surgery)!" and continued to hail.

WHAT THE FUCK?????! MY NOSE IS ALL STITCHED UP OBVIOUSLY CAN'T BE LYING ABOUT THE SURGERY RIGHT?? I mean, I was supposed to take out stitches lar, but I could very well be really injured!

She, on the other hand, was totally dressed up for a frivolous day of shopping at Orchard with her stupid multi-coloured-hair friends!

Got make-up and totally accessorized, surgery my ass!

Never met such heartless people lor!

I kept on yakking relentlessly until the bleached blonde couldn't take it anymore (some 50 year old bitch) and she yelled at me, shouting (and I am just a small girl with a broken nose muttering incoherently),

"LOOK, WE DON'T CARE IF YOU TAKE THE NEXT CAB, THERE ARE NONE ANYWAY."

... with really awful bulging eyes at me when she spat the last 4 words.

Which was particularly contrary to the fact that her brunette and "obviously-needs-surgery" friend over there was STILL frailing her arms at the road, all while standing right in front of me.

My bandages started to get wet, which Dr H warned me exactly not to do.

The laopok blonde (brunette very bend on getting a cab) yelled again (which I thought was pretty unnecessary of her, she really needs anger management classes), "Look, let's take 7 to Clementi, ok?" and yanked her frailing friend away to the bus stop beside me.

The moment they traded positions with me, I got a cab.

HA!!!!

That would show them filthy angmoh bitches! Hope some tree branches topple on to them, followed by a monkey! They really deserve it! Well, perhaps not the redhead, she kept quiet throughout.

I think the Caucasian girls in Singapore have this thing against asian girls; not all of them of course, but some are bound to have a chip on their shoulder, because white boys like (to fuck?) asian girls.

(I am not talking about my situation, which is true love regardless of race, mind you. Very sacred thing.)

Well that 50 year old blonde looks like she could have caught her white husband fucking the filipino maid, is left with a rude bitch of a brunette for her daughter, and to add salt to her wounds a tree HAD to topple just when she wanted to go shopping! GAH! Her life sucks! No wonder she is so grouchy.


GO BACK TO AMERICA IF SINGAPORE'S CABBERS SUCK, BITCHES!

I am just saying America coz I think their accent sounds like that, but keep in mind they might very well be pretending to be mean Americans in a campaign to smear US overseas relations.


Turned out, with extra-upsized bad luck, that momo's lane cleared while I was fighting tooth and nail for my cab, and she ended up at Dr H's earlier than me.

-_-

MJ bad luck

I played mahjong with Wong and her sisters that day.

She is the sort of person whom mahjong connoisseurs will turn their nose up at, as she really doesn't take the game seriously lor.

I TAKE MJ V SERIOUSLY!

MJ is a beautiful game of brains and luck, and it takes cunning and social flairs to be able to not win and not piss opponents off, or lose and minimise losses.

Wong, on the other hand, relishes her 1 tai pi hu wins, and thinks that, for example, childish antics like toppling your opponents tiles after he has finished building them is more fun than... say... winning a da san yuan.

Can you imagine hor, that I can lose mahjong to such a person?????!

*shakes head in disbelief*

There was this one round where she got all the four animals, then she zi mo. -_- And she happily announced that after playing mj (although not very often) for like 5 years or something, this is her first 5 tai zi mo.

Disgusting! 10c 20c I also lost $12 ok!

I was the major loser! Wong family cheat me. Family of cheats! Lawyers cannot be trusted.

Miscellaneous bad luck

Was very careful not to hit my nose while out with Huifen watching Curse of the Golden Flower, but I was swollowing medicine with my iced earl grey (with vanilla ice-cream, yum!) and tried to gulp from the glass without using the straw.

Conveniently forgot there was a spoon inside, so when the cup was raised the spoon slid along the round rim of the glass, and hit me right on my wound.

Wanna see the wounds?

Hover mouse over to see. Warning: Gross

It hit me at the side of the middle wound. Bam! No lasting harm though.

This photo is taken fresh after stitches was out, so obviously it is still very bloody, and also, the nose is completely swollen which explains why the nostrils are not equal in size.

So now you know where to go out for scars lar if you suspect someone has done his or her nose!! :D But actually if it is well-taken care of, there is almost no scarring.

And amazingly enough, for a body part so sensitive, the pain is almost like non-existant!

On a scale of 1-10, 1 being maybe an ant's bite and 10 being a shark's bite then being hit by a lightning bolt then burnt alive, I'd say that I suffered like 2.5 at MOST.

Shiok. Nose will still be swollen for another 1 month or so till the swell is like 80% gone, but it already looks pretty nice!

Though as I said I cannot post "after" pictures lar, you guys just have to catch it on Girls Out Loud. :D

*******************

p/s: Yes I saw the Jean Marie Tan article! Makes me wonder why that any respectable newspaper would allow their journalist to lash out article after article of personal vindictive attacks? So childish leh, the feud between me and her is so long ago, still down there typing mutinously to herself.

Tsk! Some people just really have no life lor, must be.

Would have been a wiser, smarter move to praise the show grudgingly or something, then it would seem to everyone she is the bigger person.

But she attack that I have a short tongue leh! I already admit that it's a flaw I am born with what, not like I can do anything about it. -_-

*******************

p/p/s:


Me with Dr H, and an expensive (albeit swollen) nose...
and an apparently better life than some people.

*******************

p/p/p/s: Curse of the gim huay is good!!!!! Gong Li and Chow's acting skills are superb, and the cinematography was like WHOOP!

Only thing I didn't really like was Jay Chou. I really love him and all his songs, but his acting is so raw compared to the rest lar... He kept getting shifty-eyed, and in the middle of the show I was suddenly AWARE THEY WERE ALL ACTING.

It's a very unpleasant feeling to be jolted out of the drama like that. For half of the show I really thought Gong Li was a tormented queen. Damn!

Would you get very upset with shagging your half brother if you have not grown up together with him? Like say you only got to know him when you both are adults?

I think I won't be leh... I mean I will be quite disgusted, but I won't be TRUAMATIZED AND SCARRED FOR LIFE lar. I'd be like, "Ok, that was a mistake. Let's not do that again, shall we?"

It's the idea of shagging someone you grew up with that's fucking gross. EWWWWWWW eww ewww ewww eewww

*implant trembles in horror

last P/S: Middlesex, a book by Jeffrey Eugenides, is about incest too. It is so amazingly written that not only is it not gross, you will even grow to love the brother-sister couple. Good read.

I having this thing where I tend to go from topic to topic in a mad endless hop.

NEW TRACK FROM -DEVIN THE DUDE FEATURING TONY MAC"Treatin' Me Cold"

Mayne I didn't even know I was gonna have this one for you today but alas and alak I do!

This is a song that MIGHT be on the new Devin the Dude album Waiting to Inhale. It'll come out on Rap-A-Lot Records on March 13th and we are gonna have a HUGE release party for him at SXSW with special guests that you will not believe on March 14th.

2007 finna be this boys year for real.

The song is called "Treatin' Me Cold" and it was produced by Devin, Mike Dean and the Coughee Brothaz. It features Tony Mac of the Coughee Brothaz singing as well.

You are now REQUIRED to post a comment since I am giving you this exclusive lil gem right here. Lemme know what you think and hit up Devin's MySpace and let him know what you think.

Devin the Dude featuring Tony Mac - Treatin' Me Cold

Indulgzing is not just for the super rich!

Advertorial

Sometimes being a blogger is just great.

Christin, from Indulgz Bistro, invited me and 3 friends over to try their menu, so we had a grand feast!



The first thing I was looking at the food, which Christin said is European with an oriental touch. Sounds pretty good.

And the second thing I noticed was the price (afterall I had to see how much I tan dio right?) and I realised that for the sort of food shown (which I thought looked pretty much like fine-dining), it is indeed quite cheap leh!

The average main course is like $17? Can compare to Cafe Cartel's sort of prices, except the quality of the food is really quite good leh!

Oh well, you will see...


The 3 siaos waiting for their food inside...

I invited Wong, Teo lala and Weili!

All 3 gluttons lor! Christin said that she got a lot of food for us, and the 3 of them merely smiled and Weili told her to try us. Ha!



We were served this yummy PINK champagne... I'm not mad over alcohol, but it seems that getting into the dreamy nice mood is part of the whole experience here, so I had some too!

I'm really bad with alcohol, but the 3 of them really liked it, saying it is very smooth and sweet. Cool! (Wong said it is quite expensive too.)


Classy right?! And it's pink! So pretty!

First up, appetitisers!




Breaded white button mushrooms with garlic mayo


Deep-fried Camembert Cheese with Berry Compote

Super yummy!



Expensive white button mushrooms instead of the usual shiitake, which restuarants always overcharge for! $5.50 somemore, cheaper than Swensen's!

And the juice seriously flows out lor... The sauce is super garlicy, Mike will love it.



Deep fried cheese flowing... Berry sauce made out of real berries slowly simmered by the chef!

I keep asking Christin why she doesn't want to charge a higher price for her food, but she insists that she opened the restaurant because she wants her customers to feel happy eating there, and it makes her happy too.

Quote: "We want people to believe there is a place where food is good, yet affordable; ambiance is comfortable, cozy and exclusive, and service is as if the servers are your friends."

What?! Wish more shop owners will be like that...


Wong being a glutton


Me feeling quite shiok...

We had our soups next, and seriously, honestly speaking, this is like one of the best mushroom and tomato soups I ever had.


Creamy and Chunky mushroom soup/Tomato and Basil




It is so good and yummy and creamy and tasty!

The mushroom is my favourite, and the tomato is great too, it's not too sour and I love it that none of the food here is too strong-tasting, thus spoiling appetites for more.

We were served up with something really unique next: Cheese fondue!

According to Christin very few places serve it, and it's not too expensive at Indulgz either, $16.20!





The chef clearly had something up her sleeve as she included white wine and cherry liquor in the cheese so it doesn't feel too jelat. Smart!

Weili liked the cheese so much he used it to dip everything. -_-

Main courses!


Oxtail stew, comes with truffled hand-mashed potatoes!

Shuyin says she likes this dish the best coz the sauce is damn yummy can! The oxtail is soaked in red wine overnight to absorb the flavour; I must say Indulgz really spares no cost in making their food good lor...

Anyway, for those of you who didn't already know, truffles are super expensive... It's a kind of rare mushroom, and it is added to the mashed potatoes, which are quite fab to say the least!


See, I like it.

Next... My favourite dish of all!




Butterfish steak!

It is steam-baked (I don't really know these terms, but Christin said only the freshest fish can be done this way, and Indulgz never freezes any of its ingredients), and I don't care how it's done, as long as they keep serving it!

Butterfish is kinda rare in Singapore and is usually quite expensive, so I expect most of you won't have eaten it before, but in my humble opinion it tastes almost like cod, except not as fatty or oily.

I love it so much leh...

See...


So smooth and juicy and I can almost taste it!

Such a thick slab too, super wu hua!

Christmas stuffed turkey breast up next...





The turkey is breast meat, but surprisingly very tender and soft! It is stuffed with minced turkey, and dried fruits and nuts...

To add to the Christmasy feeling, it is drenched with cranberry sauce and that orange stuff you see is mashed sweet potato!

Weili ate a lot of it, thinking it was pumpkin... It's not like conventional mushed sweet potato - it is not that sweet (as I said the food in Indulgz are all very subtle and not over-powering), and very appetitizing. A must-try!


Well, the food is really good!

We had the restaurant's signature dish next, which I was really excited about.

Chef's Crispy Pasta with Chicken Mushroom Cream Sauce!


Isn't it unique?

Angel-hair pasta is deep-fried and then drained of all it's oil, then drenched in yummy cream sauce, thinly sliced mushrooms and also slivers of chicken!

Like Chinese "sheng mian", except with very yummy cream sauce.

Can eat it crispy, or leave it in the sauce a bit to make it softer. Either way, I like this dish a lot too! It's a battle between this and the butterfish steak for me.




WE ARE SOooo FULL!!!!!!

And we still have dessert ok!


:D


Indulgz's Panna Cotta

I like this! It tastes like big rabbit milk candy! Not too sweet and creamy and smooth. =D Like custard. Love it!


Homemade chocolate mousse, with strawberry and fresh cream
Made fresh in the kitchen! It's made of dark chocolate.

Shuyin and Weili and Wong really liked this coz it tastes really rich and thick; it's totally different from your typical cheap conventional chocolate mousse which is very foamy, kinda.


Despite our fullness still managed to gobble everything up


Chocolate fondue!



There's just SOMETHING about the chocolate that's different, and Christin refuses to tell me what the secret ingredient in her chocolate was!

Unlike the mousse this melted dark chocolate is sweeter but without being too over-powering (for the lack of a better descriptive word), and Shuyin guessed that it was coffee beans added but Christin said she is wrong.

Oh well, go try and find out! Really curious what it is.

I tried to toast my marshmallow against the tealights but it burnt!


-_-

Indulgz's food may look quite expensive, but it's not that sort of prudish place that you can't have fun at, so have fun we did!

Eeyer, look at the Weili...


Haha with fondue on his teeth!


Me


Weili, "Shuyin looks like she got one golden tooth!"



Nobody can outgross Weili and Wong lor... He even taught us how to spread the chocolate (ie putting some on your tongue and spreading it on your teeth evenly with saliva).

We had smoothies too!


Strawberry and Yogurt Smoothie / Mango and Peach Smoothie

Refreshing and delicious. I liked the mango better, but Wong loved the strawberry and yogurt. I think it's very funny how humans have different preferences. Alright, that's a weird thought, but I thought about how our tongues are like built the same way, yet we can like different things. Odd.

Acting like we fell in love...


Was really kinda awkward although I love my Teo lala..

Weili and Wong then pro lor!


Laugh it out first


Then serious for the camera.


Everyone being super happy about our meal!!!

Final pic to show how much we love Indulgz:


Hehe!

Visit Indulgz next time you go to Bugis! (And I think Bugis has a serious lack of things to eat if you are not interested in having steamboat that day)

It's in Tan Quee Lan street, which is 5 mins away from Bugis Junction (walk towards the apple strudel place) and directly opposite the DHL balloon, along the row of Tian tian huo guo!

If you are thinking of going out for dinner this Christmas, can try reserving a spot at Indulgz too! Do it before the 20th and identify yourself as a Xiaxue reader - and you get 10% off!! Can have a look at their Xmas menu here. =D

If you do go, I guess I will see you guys there coz I think I will be going often for my butterfish steak too!

p/s (Christin says): "New year's food and wine pairing set" and countdown party from 10pm onwards, door charge of $15.50nett will entitle you to a buffet of sweet finger food like cookies, muffins, danishes, donuts etc. Whole idea of this "sweet buffet" is to have a sweet starting for the new year!

All booze will only be for $5.50nett each. Premium housepours (Vodka, Bourbon, Tequila, Gin) with sodas, tiger & heneiken beer and house wines! Only opening doors for 80 people. Reservations preferred. Customers who come for new year's dinner will have door charge waivered.

Call 6238 7032, or email at enquiry@indulgz.com.

p/s: Is my old nose. By royal decreed of Mediacorp, no pic of the new nose on my blog till the last episode, which will be in february! Anyway it is super duper swollen now, so you won't wanna see it! Shuyin and Wanyi says it is nice, Ek and the rv gang say no better or worse, just different. Oh well!