HOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW?!?!?!?!

I think I've suddenly lost my ability to bloggggggggggg!!!

I don't have anything interesting happening to me recently that doesn't involve the privacy of other people (which means I can't blog about it), and my life has settled into a flat boring plateau of comfort.

OKOK I know...

I shall blog about my (closer) girlfriends!!


Here's their birthdays:


MARCH

Kaykay: March 11th

Eileen: March 8th



APRIL

Qing qing: April 2nd

Shuyin: April 19th

Huifen: April 23rd

Gillian: April something (it's not stated on her facebook -_-)


JUNE

June: June 1st

Rosalyn: June 20th

Wanyi: June 21st

Eekean: June 21st



FUNNY HOR?! It appears I can like my girls to be either from the star signs Pisces, Aries, Taurus or Gemini!

Of course I have other female friends who didn't fall in these signs but I guess I'm not that close to them as those mentioned here.

My female friends are all mostly born in the first half of the year, and almost all my closer guy friends are born in the second half (with the exception of maybe Ming)...

I wonder if the astrology horoscope shit works, or maybe it's just a coincidence? Do people who have their birthdays close to each other tend to have similar traits?

Do your friends have birthdays all close to each other?

Food for thought.

Speaking of food, I'm now fucking fat! I'm like 45kg, which is a 2 or 3 kg disparity from my usual of 42/43, and I'm telling you that 45kg is fucking fat for my height!!

CCB.

I saw Shuyin yesterday and she is DAMN skinny lor! I can see her ribcage all! She went to Shanghai and thought she'd binge there so she asked the doctor for appetite suppressant pills, and in the end she didn't binge in Shanghai so she now looks like a chopstick lor...

I told Mike my intentions to go get those pills too, and to my surprise he told me he also has those pills and he got them for his first trip to Singapore when he was super scared that I would think he is fat!

So just now, I ate a pill, and kuku bird! It doesn't work lor!

According to both Shuyin and Mike, the pills are supposed to:


- Increase your heartbeat rates (coz metabolism increases)

- Give you insommia (very unfortunate side-effect)

- Obviously make you not crave for food



Not only did I fall asleep on my bed 2 hours later (took a short nap) with an indifferently beating heart, I woke up to raving hunger pangs (at 2 am when I ate a full dinner at 8pm) and ate 8 egg tofus and 4 deep-fried spring rolls (which I cleverly ta bao-ed from Kelvin's bdae catering).

WHY DOESN'T IT WORK FOR ME!??

I'm super upset lor!

Am I destined to use photoshop to lose weight for the rest of my life??

At that rate of eating no wonder fat...

*****************

I know what else I can blog about!

I shall blog about typical reader comments which pissed me off recently...

I'm not quoting them word for word but these are the essential meanings to what they said:

1) You can lie about staying in a condo but I know you are not! Your room's layout is exactly the same as mine, and I stay in a HDB flat! And your princess room is so small, it can't be a condo.

.........

Excuse me, but why would I lie about staying in a dumbass condo? It's just a two-room condo in the very end of Singapore - it's not bloody Beverly Hills, so the puny bit of prestige is not even worth my effort to lie.

I've openly told everybody before that I used to stay in a 3-room flat in Teban Gardens, the armpit of Singapore, so why would I have a change of character and decide to lie about my lodgings?

It really pisses me off when people accuse me of things due to their own stupid ridiculous presumptions. Pisses me off even more when other stupid people believe these stupid people!

I'm sorry that your room is the size of my Princess Room, but I'd like to inform you that the "Princess Room" is only one-half of the rather large master bedroom...

Ok this is going nowhere.


2) I can't believe we are paying you but you are still not blogging after so long!


PAYING?

You mean like giving me MONEY?

SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH.

When did you ever pay me ANY money at all?

All you did was to read this site due to your own boredom/kpo-ness, and I DON'T OWE YOU ANY-FUCKING-THING.

If you don't like my tardiness in blogging, just fuck off, will ya?

I hope you get herpes.



3) Mike hasn't left you yet?

Nope... If he ever does I'll be sure to write about it, so you all can gloat and be marginally happier than what you usually are... because your own life is so miserable and sad. Sucks to be you, huh?


4) You (and Qihua) totally look like prostitutes blah blah blah.

Oh wow, you are SUCH AN INSULT GENIUS! I said I was mistaken for a hooker, and therefore, the insult you should say is that I do look like a hooker!

*roll eyes* Oh my, I am so hurt!

I don't care if you think I look like a hooker.

Girls would say that because they are incapable of dressing up like Qihua and I did, or even if they did, it would look shitty coz they are butt-plug ugly.

Guys would say that because they know that hooker-resembling or not, girls like Qihua and I would never fuck them, and it makes them bitter to see self-confident, vain girls.

That's why I always say, ugly people with self-esteem issues are the most annoying.


5) You are so ugly next to Qihua. You are so fat and fake and she is so pretty and natural.

When I told Qihua about this comment, she laughed and said she'd like to tell you guys that she has on eyelash extensions, hair extensions and of course make-up, so what's there to be so "natural" about?

I think it is very ludicrous that these unknown netizens have the nerve and audacity to comment on famous people's looks, because you are probably a sad, timid low-life in real life who would never even dare to speak to me.

Am I right? Would you tell me in my face that I am ugly, and not have me not have the immediate ready retort that you are hideous yourself?


I also don't care that you think Qihua is prettier than me, which she is... and there is nothing much I can do about that, unless I splash some concentrated acid on her face, which I won't because if she turns ugly she'd stop being so vain and I'd like her less.

What's your point in making an obvious comment like that? Are you trying to hurt me? Ruin friendships, perhaps?

It won't work, coz I only care that Mike thinks I'm hot and that I think I'm hot, so those two are satisfied and thus, nothing else really matters! :)

I understand the pleasure of insulting me though, because let's face it, if tomorrow Britney Spears has a blog too, I'd love to insult her and know that I am important enough to make someone as famous as Britney feel hurt.

Me, insignificant Wendy, managed to evoke emotions in the famous Britney Spears!

Complimenting someone is uncool and probably won't get you any attention; insults on the other hand might get you a reaction and not only seems outspoken and brave, but also sort of praises yourself at the same time (ie saying someone is stupid is also saying you are cleverer than that person)!

Insults are the no-brainer choice.

Whatever, dudes.

**************

Some photos I edited sorta for facebook.

Kaykay and I dressed up as Fafi!!

You won't believe how vain we are lor... We were du lan that we missed Halloween (and a chance to dress up), so one day, I just decided to jio Qihua to come over and take photos and she did... bringing with her an entourage of wigs, socks, and even a box of candy canes and a purple puff for what she called "props".

Lookit! My crazily thick eyelash extensions that have lasted for more than 2 weeks now! Never drop at all!! Call Carragheen at 68849924 if you wanna do too. There are different types of lashes (from $62 to $130) so if you want mine make sure you let them know you want Xiaxue's lashes.

Matchy matchy socks we bought in HK

I'm not including Kaykay's individual shots coz I want more attention on me, thanks! (at least I admit it lor...)

Random shots:

With Mike... in the second pic he took me out for fine(ish) dining! Which is very uncharacteristic of him... I love you bb!!

With my smelly bff



Me, photoshopped to death

Please don't ask me where I bought my colour contacts hor! You'd be horrified (and rather impressed) to know that I DID NOT WEAR CONTACTS AT ALL.

The light brown colour is purely done by photoshop. :D

Li hai or not! Just goes to show you can't trust any photo online at all!