KENCING SEMBARANGAN: No particular title

LONGGGGGGG POST

Had a happy CNY everyone? Mine was pretty good!

Well sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy meeting up with friends and all, and I haven't gotten down to opening my ang pows (red packets with money) yet!

I heard my Uncle Johnny haven't opened his in many years and I have plans to rob his drawer.

Isn't so damn cool to have a custom whereby the happily married are obligated to give the unmarried people money? I don't know how the married people feel, but I think they deserve it for finding true love and yadda yadda. *self satisfied smile*

It's great!

I wish every New Year, people will have customs of giving money to, I don't know, people with no boyfriends, people who are short, people with no "real jobs", people with bad hair, etc.

In exchange for packets of money, these recepients give worthless oranges, and utter some words of praise. HEEHEEHEE :D

Ain't CNY great?!?!?!

Because I was a great model for Localbrand, Turodrique decided to give a tee to my brother. While I met him, he suddenly told me he realised one difference between Maddox and me.

I DIGRESS!

SPEAKING OF MADDOX, I was reading Tucker Max the other day, and his blog stated that he went out for a drink with Maddox (OMG OMG!), and guess WHAT?!

MADDOX'S GIRLFRIEND IS ASIAN!

Well Tucker Max said that she is Asian, hot, and also ate a lot.

Wait wait wait in case you haven't noticed, me = Asian, Hot, and Eat a Lot. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO EAT A LOT TEND NOT TO BE HOT, but whatever man, hotness is subjective and who knows, Maddox might like thunder thighs?

BUT THE POINT IS!

I HAVE A CHANCE!

Please don't hold on to me like that, I'm going now to Salt Lake City, Utah. I KNOW MADDOX WOULD LOVE TO DATE ME!! :D

Some of you may frown and say he isn't too good looking, but hey, who cares, he's just too cool. :) I imagine if I married him and I had to give birth and the baby wouldn't come out, he would just push the surgeon aside, grunt in frustration, and use his bare hands to pull the baby out.

In the case of the baby's head not being severed, my birth would be wonderfully primal! WAHHAHAHA! When my female friends ask me, hey, how was your birth? I will go like, Oh, my husband pulled little Prestige out... Cool, ain't he?

:D

So back to Turodrique, Turodrique was saying that Maddox never ever gives airtime to his detractors, and T reckons I should learn from that.

It is true you know! I am famous (in case you mistakenly read this in an arrogant tone, I'm saying it in a rather sad, but matter-of-fact tone), and naturally, people all want a piece of the action.

Which is why these losers write about me, because they know, even if they claimed they did not want to be associated with me *roll eyes*, that the only way they can get attention is to write about me.

In other words, without me, they are nothing.

Let me eat my words by telling you a little story, which is, of course, 100% fiction.

Now years ago, a girl joined a blogging competition organised by a big Telco company.

Let's call her Henna.

One of the contestants was gay, and it was stated all over his private blog, which, we all know, is not really private.

Gay boy 1 was on pretty good terms with Henna. He also had a best friend, called Gay boy 2, also gay.

Now Henna read Gay Boy 1's blog long before she got closer to him, so she told another contestant that Gay Boy 1 is gay... This piece of news was gossipy, simply because it was a dating/blogging competition they were all in, well, I suppose that means you should be straight.

This other contestant then proceeded to tell the whole world that Gay Boy 1 was gay.

Gay Boy 1 found out the source was Henna, and got very angry, threatening to sue Henna and whatever - which, as Henna pointed out to him, is not going to happen because Gay Boy 1 had written all over his blog himself that he was gay - and he certainly didn't tell Henna not to tell anyone.

Gay Boy 2, as best friend, also got very angry with Henna, and started to write very bad stuff about Henna all over his blog.

Meanwhile, there was another mediocre contestant in the blogging contest, and her name is Gina.

She claims to be a full-time model, but is the sort you will raise your eyebrows at, because you'll go like, "Woah, so ugly also can be full-time model?!".

Gina was on ok terms with Henna, but who knows what people would do for a piece of fame?

Years passed.

Henna read something in the news which made her laugh one day.

Gay Boy 1 and Gay Boy 2 were caught and put to jail for something they wrote in their blogs!

Oh, they hated a certain race of llamas, and wanted that sort of llamas to all be killed. :)

Of course, llamaism is against the law.

Gay Boy 2 got out of jail, and, out of goodness knows what reason (actually we all know why), jumped on the train to accuse Henna of llamaism too, trying to get Henna into trouble for his own prejudice.

In which of course Henna wasn't.

On national papers he claimed that he did not hate that sort of llamas (though he wished them all dead), and also claimed that Henna was the llamaist one.

Out of goodness knows where also popped up Gina, who supported the claim that Henna was llamaist!

Henna read the papers and laughed loudly, shaking her head, wondering how on Earth can some people be so bloody childish and unscrupulous.

Of course, people who read the papers will just presume that Gay Boy 2 and Gina had a just opinion on Henna, but in actual fact, they all held a grudge against her, since a long long time ago.

That long long time ago, they all blogged, and Gina and the gay boys never made it big like Henna did.

Only by hurting her they could get a piece of her online fame - which, obviously, can only last a while, because they were... sadly... still mediocre. :)

End of story.

Interesting not?

So yes, that's that, and - on a separate note that's not related to the story - it is just so difficult to let go of some things without explaining yourself.

But I promise this to myself. From today onwards, I will NOT blog about detractors anymore.

People pay me to blog - why should detractors get free airtime?

Yes, I'm human. But having a famous blog dehumanizes me, because I know I cannot show any weaknesses here. If I show any, people can't wait to grab it, pull a flock over it, and post it all over their blogs shouting the headline: "XX finally succumbs!"

I'm not gonna let that happen!

So, I'm gonna blog about my own stuff and totally ignore what other people are saying. :D

You can search all you want in technorati about my latest scandals, but I'm higher than that! I'm XX! You won't be able to get my attention; you are too trivial! *smirks*

Previously, I was stupid and allowed detractors to spam my comments.

Now, I moderate both blogger's and haloscan's comments, and nobody can get my fame without my permission anymore! Hurray for moderation!

Moving on to good technology, hurray for Mozilla too!

I just downloaded lotsa good extensions on it, and man does IE suck big time. Sorry Howard, but I just can't believe it is taking Microsoft so damn fucking long to come up with the tabs idea! (I can almost hear Howard arguing with me in my head)

So apparently IE's next version will have tabs, I heard.

A BIT TOO LATE! I'm now a mozilla fan!

I downloaded this extension, and whenever Mozilla crashes, it will come back to EXACTLY how it was before it crashed - which means no more deleted blog entries!

THAT CAN ONLY BE GOOD!

CNY photos!

Every CNY we would first go to my paternal grandparents' house to bian nian!

It is particularly nostalgic for me coz I used to be taken care of by my grandma when I was a kid, and most of my childhood consisted of me jumping all over her couch, eating her fried eggs with rice and dark soya sauce, and watching for the thousandth time Sun Wu Kong on tv.

New Year goodies!

Couldn't resist taking photos of myself. =) This year I decided my style will be "BOMBSHELL".

I kept irritating people I am buying clothes with by going like, "OMG, this is totally not bombshall, I won't buy it!".

See the letter B on my tank top? B FOR BOMBSHELL.

My little adorable cousin Vivian.

Wooh, smelly, I like!

My uncles are twins and they are so cute! :D

My grandpa! He used to be so handsome!

I have no idea what this plant is called, but my grandma calls it "chi ku teng" in Cantonese, and that kinda sounds like a dangling penis... And true to its name, my grandma says that the plant would help a pregnant lady give birth to a boy, for the plant kinda looks like the said genital.

She would know, she had four boys. Hahaha!

Everyone looking happy. :)

My cousins

My pretty skirt!

Some time ago I bought this satin-lace pink headband that I intended for the garter look (bombshell, you know) around my thigh but even with all the spring cleaning I couldn't for the life of me find it!

So I replaced it with a plain lace band. =( It's not quite the same thing and I looked like I got bandaged.

I love my grandma so much!

She always cares so much for me, but I can't even make the effort to go visit her more often! I'm such a bad grand daughter.

I didn't know this, but when I reached her place, I saw she framed up my newspaper clippings...

Ok, writing that just made me cry.

I'm gonna visit her A LOT MORE. Once a week. Every Monday.

My grandpa's fishies.

In the kitchen I am so familiar with

These photos have no point except that I used the same spoons to eat the same dessert since I was a child.

After this we move on to my uncle's place! It's at Duku road or something, and my mother NEVER FAILS to get lost every year.

This year I slept throughout and was quite happy she took her time to be lost.

On the sofa before my cousins arrived.

Now 2 days before CNY, I went out with my cousins to get new year clothes, and while we were at Lido's outdoor macdonalds, something happened.

This teenaged guy (macdonald employee), with fried yellow hair and a pervertish face (bespectacled, pimpled sort - you know that kind!), suddenly walked over to our table.

He bend down to me and announced very loudly,

"ARE YOU THE XIAXUE FROM YOU HUA ZHI SHUO?"

In chinese. And in his hand, he was holding the metal thing that pushes the rubbish further into the bins.

-_-

I got the shock of my life, and said yes in a small voice.

"Can I get your number and be friends with you?"

He asked. "BU KE YI! (No you can't!)" I replied in terror, and he walked away calmly.

He came back one more time after like 1 hour, to ask me how I earned money from my blog.

...

My cousins thought it was hilarious, and THEY REFUSED TO LET IT GO.

During CNY, conversations went like this:

Me, "Jo, can you pass me the green tea?"

Jocelyn, "Ok... But excuse me, are you the Xiaxue from You Hua Zhi Shuo?!"

CHAO TURTLE.

Very funny meh?!

Anyway, this year my cousins arrived very late coz there was a severe car accident at Steven's Road! According to Cally, they even saw the corpse wrapped up.

Wah lau, what a terrible, terrible thing to die on CNY! It's even worse than normal days coz the whole family will just have to stop celebrations and from that happy mood, transit an even longer way than usual into grief.

But enough of sad stuff...

Jo, Cally, her hubby, and Momo

My nails - awful

We moved on to my maternal Grandpa's place, where mahjong began. :D

Jo and I shared, and we lost like 30 bucks. Bah!

Chu Er, went to Kelvin's new house to eat steamboat!

I'm trying to persuade him to have a jacuzzi on the third floor. Well, I believe I am right to say that if u have a jacuzzi at house, and it is very good for suntanning, then surely a multitude of pretty girls will flock over dressed in skimpy gold bikinis, right?

I am right, and that's reason enough for a jacuzzi on the 3rd floor.