KENCING SEMBARANGAN: Assorted rubbish

Dammit I keep having damn ingrown hairs!

Why the hell do women need to have armpit hair ANYWAY? It's utterly useless and I think we spend a grand total of maybe 1 year of our lives just trying to get rid of it.

Woe betide those women who pluck! I think they spend like 2 years lor. Thank god for epilators and no thanks to damn puberty.

I think God chooses not to be contactable coz he knows that everyone will keep hounding him about his fundamental designing flaws.

Appendixes, for example. At least for armpit hair China men and feminists appreciate it, but appendixes are utterly useless. If I had one less appendix, I think my tummy might get flatter.

Cancer too. Nobody likes cancer and I don't know why He needs to put cancer in this world.

Anyway, I feel like ranting on and on today, so the topic of the day is "Being Female".

I was in the shower just now, and as I looked at the can of Veet standing there, marketed to be appealing to the female aesthetic sense, I just decided it sucks to be a girl.

I woke up this morning with an overwhelming urge to squeeze my inner thigh and found it to be dimpled beyond reason. It's disgusting and fascinating at the same time.

WHEN DID THE DAMN CELLULITE COME?

Was it when I turned 21?

Accompanying the cellulite was a proud vericose vein, all purple and... veiny.

GOD HELP ME I AM ONLY 22!!!!!!!!

You think I'm one of those girls talking cock don't you. HERE:

Pictoral evidence.

I know it's just a small vein, but soon its friends will all come out and play.

Where was I? Yup, about how it sucks to be female.

Hairs! We have to do so much for hairs!

Why do females come with leg hair anyway? What use do we have for it? Unless our lao peh is Gillette, which he isn't, leg hair is totally useless.

I have a guy friend, very handsome mind you, who said that once he encounters a girl with pubes he would totally drop the idea of bedding her.

o_0

YOU KNOW ONE TIME BRAZILLIAN HOW MUCH OR NOT?!!!!!!

FIFTY BLOODY DOLLARS! And you know how long it takes to grow out? 3 short weeks! And you know how painful it is?!

SHAVE INDEED!

How to shave such uneven terrains you tell me?! And down there so sensitive, wait cut dio how?!!!

ROARRRRRR

Sucks to be female.

YOU MEN SHOULD STOP BEING SO MEAN AND REQUESTING SO MANY THINGS!

Cannot have hairs, cannot be fat, cannot this one that one.

HOW TO NOT BE FAT?! See tiramisu don't eat ah?! Then we diet, you say we keep talking about dieting very annoying!

As if it's not enough, we are born with a strong impulse for retail therapy, and without a sense of direction.

Speaking of retail therapy, I just spend $2.8k on gadgets for the stupidest reasons.

As you all know, I lost my beautiful metallic pink L1 camera in Thailand, so I tried to find the same camera with no avail, and bought the silver version instead.

It takes marvellous photos, but I started disliking it because it is silver. -_-

I CANNOT STAND UGLY THINGS LAH!

I don't like gadgets being silver or black coz that's so bloody common. Even after covering the camera with diamantes I didn't like it.

So when Ann told me the new Sony Cybershot T10 is out and it's baby pink, I immediately bought it.

$540, comes with 512 memory stick. Gave that to Momo (as well as the old cam, she is horrified by the diamantes), since I have a 1 gig one.

It is supposedly 7.2mp but seriously, it makes almost absolutely no difference from my L1, which 4.1mp and way older. The only difference is that the camera has like a music slideshow (utterly useless I think) and a macro mode which the L1 doesn't have.

So I basically spent 500 bucks on improving just looks. Dang.

But who can resist that baby pink?

So pretty hor! But pretty is not enough, must zhng!

Taken via a very dirty mirror, as you can see

Now it's officially super gorgeous. Nice or not? I stuck the diamantes on myself!

I also spent $20 extra on just the damn accessories.

And then, I am going to US again on the 12th... YOU KNOW HOW MANY FLIGHTS I HAVE TO TAKE?!

FIVE! Five and in between each flight is a few hours of pure waiting!

Lao niang will die of boredom lar!

So... I bought a laptop.

I know NOTHING about laptops and did no research about them (I tried to but gave up after realising that each brand has like 20 variations each) and just chose the prettiest and smallest (and is not too expensive of course).

I tell you hor, buying gadgets in Singapore is a bloody pain in the ass. I used to think that the only place to buy a camera was either Lucky Plaza or Sim Lim, but it turns out that the abovementioned areas has the LOUSIEST SERVICE IN THE WORLD.

I mean it. The last time I bought a camera from Lucky Plaza, the fucker went to get the stock room and returned with the wrong colour. IS IT MY FAULT? He scolded me and asked me to buy the colour he brought back!

Chao turtle! Curse him forever no business.

So anyway, I found the PERFECT place to get your IT purchases.

FUNAN IT MALL!

Don't go to Sim Lim ever again, I say Funan is the best.

The salesmen there are all very well-mannered, and they don't get all aggressive or pissed off if you go to another store to check out prices. There are enough stores for you to get a good price, and a lot of the salesmen are quite cute nerdy ah bengs. Wahaha... I realise the multiple oxymorons. :D

So yes, my lovely laptop and camera are bought there...

Acer 3020 or something!

Very funny, when the salesmen told me about the specifications, I just looked at them and frowned. Up till now I don't know what processor the thing runs on. I do know that it's dual something though! Which is good!

And it has a built-in webcam and is very pretty and white!

Look at the super cute perky baby pink mouse!

The first store I went to quoted me $2240 for the lappie, so I said ok, I'd go check if other stores can gimme cheaper.

Second store said $2240 too, third said $2229, and he will throw me a free mouse!

I went to withdraw money, and on the way to POSB I asked another store for their best price. This rather cute guy said he can match $2229, and throw me a mouse free.

I laughed and told him that's exactly what the previous store said, and I added,

"Ok, which mouse are you going to give me? If your mouse is nicer than that guy's mouse I will buy from you."

He grimaced and said he only has one mouse left and pointed to it. It is dull grey and ugly.

I grimaced too.

The female salesperson was staring at us conversing all this while, and she immediately added, "How about this one?" and pointed to a baby pink mouse.

I smiled at her and paid.

And I think I might be happier about the mouse than the laptop. Yes, just because it is pink. I'm fucking stupid. I cannot help it!

Ahem.

Making the lappie into a princess lappie:

Patience is a virtue.

Crystals cost $50 and 2 hours of tweezering into place. I think I am becoming super professional at this.

Anyway, I bought the crystals at Arab street so stop badgering me.