KENCING SEMBARANGAN: Bleedy haze

I woke up this morning, lolling around in bed all sweaty and uncomfortable, with an unreasonable hatred for Indonesia.

I know not all Indonesians are muthafucking selfish cb tree-burners, but there is no where else I can direct my anger at, so fuck that stupid country for its stupid lax laws and culture of bribery.

It's ridiculous that anybody, let alone a country, can be so self-centred and irresponsible, affecting the health, economy and aircon-usage of so many other people just for its own petty gains. Update me, have they signed the bloody anti-haze contract yet?

I saw on the newspaper yesterday that some Indonesian minister or something was apologizing to Malaysia and Singapore for the damn haze, and all I wanted to do was to slap him. Sorry?! Sorry doesn't do any shit! Stop apologizing like a fool and go do something about it, ok?

Indonesia should not be allowed to plant anything from now on.

I don't care if we have to pay more more for rice or whatever it is they plant for us, but I suppose if they don't have field farmers then they won't burn anymore, would they?

NO MORE FARMING. ALL FARMERS SHALL BE PROSECUTED FOR THE CRIMES OF THEIR BOSSES/FELLOW WORKERS.

Some Malaysian minister was also going on on the news that day that Malaysia also urges Indonesia to sign the anti-haze thingy because the haze in KL is so bad (300 PSI at some point. Not that the air there is anywhere near fresh in the first place, but 300!! I will die!!) that Malaysians are all now resentful towards Indonesians (exactly how I feel too), which he thinks is not a good thing.

When our family, all squeezed into one tiny room which is the only one with aircon, we all erupted into angry spurts when he finished his little speech.

"WAH LAU!" Didi exclaimed.

"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH! Filthy POS!" I shouted, with the vengence of somebody bracing up for a fight with a guy inside the TV.

I was shocked to hear how angry I was, but Malaysia really shouldn't talk like they are innocent sufferers!!! It is known that they have tree-burning histories too, albeit less than Indonesia I suppose.

I hate to sound like a weak shu nu, but man, my eyes are really uncomfortable, and I sneezed around 30 times non-stop just walking from Cineleisure to Youth Park last night.

Breathing feels strangely like there is not enough oxygen, and I really really hated people around me who were still smoking and adding oil to the fire. (ha, punny)

Since I am trapped at home, unwilling to step into the haze and immediately have my eyes water, all I can do is to think of vicious things to do to tree burning countries.

Every Singaporean will all donate $1 each. We will change this amount of money into the currency whose coins will weigh the most, and drop the coins on the heads of unethical businessmen in Indo/Malaysia.That should kill them pretty bad.

Since they want money so much and are willing to do such unscrupulous actions to get it, we shall give it to them.
We will create a big funnel vaccumy thing, which will suck all the haze from wherever it comes from, and blow it back at their faces.
We would blow it at the respective useless govts.
We will build a giant glass dome over Sumatra, and they can breathe the nice clean air they abused Mother Nature of so kindly providing, turning it into poisonous toxic fumes.
Every country will thus stop buying any horticulture products from offending countries. Let's see what they burn the damn fields for now.

Ah, but all these are just beautiful dreams.

To Indonesians who did not burn trees but are suffering, I say, what are you staying in that country for? Please try to migrate.

Yesterday was out with Wong and SR and Peiying having a whooping nice dinner at Chicago's steakhouse (in cine).

The steaks there are so nice! $9.90 for a nice big sirloin, and 6 different sauces to choose from!

The wild mushroom sauce is the most absolutely fabulous.

We made Wong put on fake eyelashes!! Haha so funny!

Before and After! Can't really see the difference though.

Went to Holland V at brekos to eat with Kelvin, Tim and Alex.

Lovely macro function.

Alex's tee says "Warning: Lions bite." with a half eaten kiwi bird.

Me!

Think I am too blonde, considering visiting my Asian roots again by having black hair.

Since I cannot bloody suntan with the stupid haze I might as well be fair with black hair! What do you think?

Kelvin mostly isn't happy when I start snapping photos of him.

Saw this angmoh guy across the road with the cutest baby ever and I tested my camera's zoom by taking a photo of the BABY!!!!!!

Isn't it so cute and fat and huggable! It is extremely freaky, but I am officially announcing that at the end of year 2006, my maternal instincts have officially kicked in.

I am only 22 leh!

So often I watch Maury's (some American show with defiant sexually addicted teens) with a frown on my face, because all these chicks, like aged 13, say they want to have a baby, and that's why they keep fucking so many boys.

I didn't understand why anyone will want a baby when they are totally incapable of taking care of it and giving it a complete family.

NOW I KNOW WHY. Maternal instincts! It is damn scary and uncontrollable!

Nobody warned me it would happen, it just suddenly did, and I want a baby (Dammit, give me one NOW!) and I have this overwhelming urge to steal other people's babies, especially the blonde ones!

I LOVE BLONDE BABIES!

I am not irrational enough to actually try to conceive one right now, but I still do feel the urge to carry a baby in my arms.

DAMMIT!

I scared the bejeesus out of Mike when I told him I wanted him to marry me now and I want a baby.

I then informed him and I am sick and told him to ignore me whenever I show symptoms of maternal instincts.

It is damn scary. I think I hear my womb lamenting to me sometimes, late at night, that it has been useful since 1995 and have not been used once since. It wantssss to be used.